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TORONTOSharing new details about what fans could expect next from the hit series, Heated Rivalry producers teased Wednesday that Season 2 would follow an arc in which character Ilya Rozanov is diagnosed with a form of depression only curable via blow job. Were looking forward to shining a spotlight on mental health this season, in [] The post Heated Rivalry Producers Tease Season 2 Arc In Which Ilya Diagnosed With Depression Only Blow Jobs Can Cure appeared first on The Onion .

A new Gallup poll found that 52% of Republicans support labor unions in spite of GOP lawmakers continued push to stifle union priorities. What do you think? The post Poll Finds Majority Of Republicans Support Unions appeared first on The Onion .

The bride and groom said they knew they were perfect together when they both failed to get any other matches on Hinge. The post Loretta Parodi and Sam Alcott appeared first on The Onion .

MIAMICalling the promotion an exciting and cost-effective opportunity to honor one of the teams star players, the Miami Marlins announced Tuesday that the first 10,000 ticketed fans to arrive at an upcoming home game would receive a single Sandy Alcantara bobblehead for all of them to share. Well leave it up to our amazing fans [] The post Marlins Announce First 10,000 Fans At Game Will Receive Sandy Alcantara Bobblehead To Share appeared first on The Onion .

The number of American men receiving low-energy sound waves to treat their erectile dysfunction is on the rise despite little evidence to support its use, claiming the procedure increases blood flow to the penis. What do you think? The post More Men Receiving Shock Wave Therapy For Erectile Dysfunction appeared first on The Onion .

WASHINGTONSetting off a fresh wave of scrutiny over the commander-in-chiefs physical condition, speculations regarding President Donald Trumps health swirled Tuesday after he slumped over in the saddle of a runaway horse.This afternoon the president was seen flopping languidly on the back of a spooked chestnut mare that bolted across the White House South Lawn, leading [] The post Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Slumps Over In Saddle Of Runaway Horse appeared first on The Onion .

CARY, NCDescribing the experience as a revelation, 38-year-old Derrick Henard told reporters Wednesday that everything had finally clicked for him after he was given a diagnosis of stupid.I remember googling the word stupid for the first time, reading the definition, and thinking, Holy shitthis is me, said Henard, recalling that while he had initially been [] The post Everything Finally Clicks For Man After Getting Diagnosed As Stupid appeared first on The Onion .

The post Agriculture Dept. Puts Trumps Face On Soybeans appeared first on The Onion .

Family and friends of Shawn Graham, 56, were shocked and saddened to learn that it costs $300 to submit an obituary to a newspaper. The post Shawn Graham appeared first on The Onion .

The FBI warns artificial intelligence is being exploited around the globe by criminals who use the technology for deception. The Onion shares tips for detecting AI scams. Check if the message is signed Captain Robot. Create a code word with Beyonc so youll always know if its actually her or a scammer. Ask personal questions [] The post Tips For Detecting AI Scams appeared first on The Onion .

ATLANTAHailing its success as a major victory for the public health and safety of all Americans, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced Monday that it had successfully eradicated children. The agency confirmed that children had been the leading vector of disease nationally, posing grave risks to entire communities and contributing significantly to the [] The post CDC Successfully Eradicates Children appeared first on The Onion .

Finally landed the career of your dreams? Well, this dated, leaky 2-bedroom home is still all youll ever be able to afford because thats just how things are now. Settle in and get used to it. Reference #830436 The post What Middle Class Looks Like Now appeared first on The Onion .

DANBURY, CTMarveling aloud that he had rarely been so sure of an athletes unbridled potential, Huntington High School head football coach Michael McNeese said Monday he just had a good feeling about a new player that other kids on the team were referring to simply as Thunder Beef. McNeese told reporters he tabbed the massive [] The post High School Football Coach Has Good Feeling About New Player Called Thunder Beef appeared first on The Onion .