Trump Signs Executive Order To Create Federal Voting List
President Donald Trump signed an executive order aiming to create federal lists of citizens which the U.S. Postal Service would use to ensure mail ballots are sent to only those people, with the effort to exert control over American elections sure to be quickly challenged in court. What do you think? The post Trump Signs Executive Order To Create Federal Voting List appeared first on The Onion .
Panicked Dodgers Owner Has No Idea How Hes Going To Come Up With $414 Million Payroll
LOS ANGELESAdmitting that the teams ballooning salary expenditures had rapidly gotten away from him, panicked Los Angeles Dodgers owner Mark Walter told reporters Thursday that he had absolutely no idea how he was going to come up with the funds needed to cover this years $414 million payroll. What the hell, $414 million? Im totally [] The post Panicked Dodgers Owner Has No Idea How Hes Going To Come Up With $414 Million Payroll appeared first on The Onion .
SNAP Now Requiring Recipients To Spend 80 Hours A Month In Hypoglycemic Coma
WASHINGTONIn an effort to clamp down on what it claimed was fraudulent use of federal food benefits, the U.S. Department of Agriculture announced Thursday that applicants to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program would now need to demonstrate that they spend at least 80 hours per month in a hypoglycemic coma. These requirements ensure the SNAP [] The post SNAP Now Requiring Recipients To Spend 80 Hours A Month In Hypoglycemic Coma appeared first on The Onion .
How to switch from ChatGPTto Gemini - without starting from scratch
Gemini will now let you transfer your memories, chat history, and preferences from another AI so you don't have to start over. Here's how it works.
Artemis II Mission Fails After Astronauts Miss Connection Rocket In Atlanta
ATLANTAForced to call off the approximately $4 billion journey around the moon due to unforeseen delays experienced by its four-member crew, NASA confirmed Thursday that the Artemis II mission failed Thursday after astronauts missed their connecting flight in Atlanta. We thought we had enough time to stop for a Cinnabon, but before we knew it, [] The post Artemis II Mission Fails After Astronauts Miss Connection Rocket In Atlanta appeared first on The Onion .
Lost Angeles? Poll Finds 48% of Angelenos Want Socialist Mayor
Will our second-largest city follow our largest in electing a socialist mayor? This may well be the case if a new poll is to be believed. ... The post Lost Angeles? Poll Finds 48% of Angelenos Want Socialist Mayor appeared first on The New American .
How I pay less for gas: 5 apps I use to find the cheapest stations nearby
With gas prices climbing ever higher, these apps help me find the cheapest fuel based on my location.
Activist Mahmoud Khalil wants ex-Justice Department official off panel of judges weighing his appeal
Lawyers for Mahmoud Khalil, the former Columbia University graduate student fighting deportation, have asked Judge Emil Bove to step aside from an appellate panel that could weigh in on his case because of Boves previous role as a top Justice Departme...
What To Know About The Super Mario Galaxy Movie
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is now in theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film. Q: Does Mario say his famous catchphrase? A: Yes, many times throughout the movie Mario exclaims, Any dinosaur who likes Mamas Bolognese sauce is okay by me! Q: What is the film about? A: The [] The post What To Know About The Super Mario Galaxy Movie appeared first on The Onion .
Google's Gemma 4 model goes fully open-source and unlocks powerful local AI - even on phones
Now open-source under Apache 2.0, Gemma 4 brings offline, multimodal AI to servers, phones, and Raspberry Pi - giving developers total local control over edge and on-premises deployments.
New MIT jobs report: Why AI's work impact will roll in like a rising tide, not a crashing wave
AI may be 'minimally sufficient' at most of your text work tasks by 2029, according to new MIT research. Here's why that's good news.
New out-of-band Windows 11 update fixes March's installation errors - how to get it
Windows 11 users who tried to install March's broken preview update will want to grab the new replacement.
Oneisall Ease S1 review: Finally, a smart litter box that doesn't cost an arm and a paw
The Oneisall Ease S1 litter robot saves you from scooping and is a lot more affordable than competitors.
Australian Group Exposes Infringements of Religious Freedom
Leaders of the Canberra Declaration intend to pressure Australias state-level parliaments to enact robust protections of religious freedom. ... The post Australian Group Exposes Infringements of Religious Freedom appeared first on The New American .
I built two apps with just my voice and a mouse - are IDEs already obsolete?
With one hand holding my dog and no keyboard, I advanced two serious development projects using AI prompting, proving that the traditional coding setup may no longer be required.
US crude tops $110 per barrel and Wall Street tumbles after Trump vows to escalate attacks on Iran
Oil rose more than 9% and U_S_ futures slid sharply lower after President Donald Trump said in his first national address since the Iran war began that the United States will continue to attack the Middle East nation for a few more weeks even though it...
My two Raspberry Pi boards cost as much as a laptop now - and AI is to blame
We live in a time when two 16GB Raspberry Pi 5 boards cost the same as a MacBook Neo. Here's why - and how to save.
Jake Paul Hoping To Gain Respect Of Boxing Community With Fight Against Worlds Tallest Man
The post Jake Paul Hoping To Gain Respect Of Boxing Community With Fight Against Worlds Tallest Man appeared first on The Onion .
Mail Carrier Hurt To Learn Residents On His Route Have Been Receiving Electronic Mail
TOLEDO, OHVisibly distraught as he learned of the widespread betrayal, local mail carrier Ned Mungo expressed dismay Thursday upon realizing that the residents on his route have been receiving electronic mail for years without his knowing. Day in and day out, Ive been coming to these doorsteps to deliver their beloved letters and catalogues, only [] The post Mail Carrier Hurt To Learn Residents On His Route Have Been Receiving Electronic Mail appeared first on The Onion .
LOS ANGELESAdmitting that there were some significant upsides to the deal despite the concerns it had raised, analysts at the National Research Group reported Thursday that the upcoming Paramount-Warner Bros. merger offered consumers the best shot at seeing aSex And The Cityreboot starring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Fans have long clamored to find out [] The post Analysts Say Paramount-Warner Bros. Merger Offers Best Shot At Sex And The City Reboot Starring Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles appeared first on The Onion .
Inconsiderate Wife Leaves Bathroom A Total Mess After Home Birth
AUSTIN, TXReporting that he plans to shower at the gym due to the bathtub being left absolutely disgusting, local man Michael DiCanio expressed annoyance Thursday that his wife had inconsiderately left the apartments only bathroom a total mess after giving birth to their first child. Jesus Christ, theres afterbirth everywhere! I never had this problem [] The post Inconsiderate Wife Leaves Bathroom A Total Mess After Home Birth appeared first on The Onion .
Universities pressured to strip names of Epstein associates from campus buildings
Protests are growing at U.S. universities where buildings are named for associates of the late sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein
DHS boss rescinds restrictive $100,000 approval process, giving hope to FEMA relief efforts
Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin has rescinded a rule that DHS expenditures over $100,000 be personally approved by his office
Go back to your country: Indian-origin founder highlights hate incidents in US, seeks help
Sexual harassment lawyer sues over rejected airport ad, now has a massive billboard
A legal battle over a small advertisement a lawyer paid for at an upstate New York airport has been resolved, and the same ad now takes up two walls at the facility
Republican leaders in Congress announce plan to end Homeland Security shutdown
House Speaker Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader John Thune have announced a plan to fully fund the Department of Homeland Security and try to end a record partial government shutdown
What to know about serial killer Ted Bundy and his rampage of violence
Ted Bundy's violent spree spanned at least four years, leaving dozens of victims, including at least 30 women and girls killed
Winning numbers drawn in Wednesdays Powerball
The winning numbers in Wednesday evenings drawing of the Powerball game were: 04-10-11-52-64, Powerball: 24
Republican plan to fund Homeland Security could get first test vote on Thursday
The Senate is expected to try quickly passing a measure Thursday that would fund most of the Department of Homeland Security, though its unclear how swiftly the House will follow to largely end the longest partial government shutdown in history
How a seabird native to Hawaii has adapted to life in Honolulu's concrete jungle
A seabird native to Hawaii is flourishing in the middle of Honolulu's concrete towers, traffic-clogged roads and Waikiki hotels
Immigrants seeking asylum are ordered to countries they've never been to
In recent months, thousands of immigrants living legally in the U.S. and waiting for rulings on their asylum claims were suddenly ordered deported to countries where most have no ties
Man charged in connection with some of 'Texas Killing Fields' deaths
Prosecutors have charged a man allegedly connected to some of the Texas Killing Fields deaths of dozens of women found near Houston beginning in the 1970s
CDC pauses dozens of types of lab testing during evaluation and in wake of downsizing
The federal governments disease-tracking agency has paused its diagnostic testing for rabies, monkeypox and a number of other infectious diseases
Explosion that killed LA County deputies involved serious safety violations
A state investigation has found that the deaths of three Los Angeles County sheriffs deputies in a grenade explosion at the parking lot of a training facility last year involved willful and serious safety violations in the department, including fail...
Baby killed by a stray bullet after drive-by attack in Brooklyn, police say
A 7-month-old baby in a stroller was killed by a stray bullet when a man on a moped shot at a group of people on a Brooklyn sidewalk
MAGA Must Stand Firm on Deportations & Guns, Trump-Backed Candidate for Congress Says
Securing the border, executing mass deportations, helping veterans, fixing the national debt, and stopping AI data centers must be unifying policies for Republicans heading into the midterms, according to Trump-backed U.S. Congressional candidate BrandonHerreraof Texas in an interview with The New Americans Alex Newman for Conversations That Matter. Herrera, running for Texas 23rd Districtthe biggest ... The post MAGA Must Stand Firm on Deportations & Guns, Trump-Backed Candidate for Congress Says appeared first on The New American .
Sam Altman: If I Dont End The World, Someone Far More Dangerous Will
The post Sam Altman: If I Dont End The World, Someone Far More Dangerous Will appeared first on The Onion .
US lifts sanctions on Venezuelas acting President Delcy Rodrguez
The U.S. has lifted sanctions on Venezuelas acting President Delcy Rodrguez
Still running iOS 18? Install this critical update ASAP
The latest patch provides protection against the deadly DarkSword exploit for iPhone users who have chosen to remain on iOS 18.
I tried to destroy this AirTag alternative, but it wouldn't crack - unlike others
Finder tags are great, but most are pretty fragile. These Ugreen Finder Pro tags are some of the toughest I've tested.
Death of a refugee left at a Buffalo doughnut shop by Border Patrol is ruled a homicide
Medical examiners have ruled that the death of a nearly blind refugee from Myanmar, five days after Border Patrol left him at a Buffalo, New York, doughnut shop, was a homicide
A former New York prison guard is found guilty of manslaughter in an inmates fatal beating
A former corrections officer has been found guilty of manslaughter in the fatal beating of an inmate at Mid-State Correctional Facility in upstate New York
After loud booms, authorities say they found at least 25 explosive devices in NY man's apartment
Federal prosecutors say officers responding to reports of loud booms in a New York neighborhood this week discovered at least 25 improvised explosive devices inside an apartment and charged a man who lives there
Microsoft account vs. local account: How to choose and set up your pick in Windows 11
The Windows 11 setup program really, really wants you to use a Microsoft account instead of a local account. Here's everything you need to know about your options.
PETA Urges White House To Use Potatoes For Easter Egg Roll
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is urging the White House to ditch traditional Easter eggs in favor of decorated potatoes at its annual egg-rolling event, arguing it would benefit both chickens and constituents wallets. What do you think? The post PETA Urges White House To Use Potatoes For Easter Egg Roll appeared first on The Onion .
MLB Umpires Replaced By Lawn Chair Representing Strike Zone
The post MLB Umpires Replaced By Lawn Chair Representing Strike Zone appeared first on The Onion .
This Android camera accessory helped me spot a hidden electrical hazard just in time
The Thermal Master P4 plugs into your Android phone and can help prevent disasters. Here's how.
Amazon Spring Sale live blog 2026: Top Amazon deals still live
Amazon's Spring Sale may be over, but you can still find some great deals on home, tech, and more live now. Buy them before they're gone.
Retail sales rise 0.6% in February, but impact of Iran war threatens to derail spending
Shoppers increased their spending in February, particularly on cars and clothing, after pulling back at the start of the year due to severe winter storms
Why I'm ditching my cheap PC cloning software for this M.2 dock that's highly functional
The Icy Box Docking and Clone Station provides the easiest way to move data between drives and to access bare drives.
I used Apple Music's new AI tool to break out of my music rut - and it worked
I usually cycle through my years-old playlists, but I tried AI-generated ones for a weekend. I found being specific is key.
DHS pauses new immigrant warehouse purchases amid review of Noem-era contracts
Homeland Security is pausing plans to buy new warehouses for immigrant detention as it reviews contracts signed under former secretary Kristi Noem
Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old
The post Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old appeared first on The Onion .
New Season Of Bridgerton To Feature 2 Women Falling In Love, Breaking Up, Forming Punk Band
LOS ANGELESInsisting that such queer stories were too often excluded from period dramas, Bridgerton showrunner Jess Brownell confirmed Wednesday that the shows next season would feature two women falling in love, breaking up, and then forming a punk band. Queer people have always existed, but until recently we didnt highlight their stories on screen in [] The post New Season Of Bridgerton To Feature 2 Women Falling In Love, Breaking Up, Forming Punk Band appeared first on The Onion .
Study: 97% Of All Sounds Infuriating
ANN ARBOR, MIPresenting data that quantified a fact already widely accepted as true, scientists at the University of Michigan released a study Wednesday proving that 97% of all sounds were infuriating. A meta-analysis of research across the entire field of acoustics confirms that nearly every noise produced, whether artificial or natural, is completely enraging, said [] The post Study: 97% Of All Sounds Infuriating appeared first on The Onion .
Report: Decision Not To Call Film The Baby Yoda Movie To Cost Disney $900 Million
BURBANK, CACiting nearly a billion dollars of pent-up consumer demand for entertainment featuring an infant version of an already beloved character, a new report released Wednesday by Gower Street Analytics concluded that Disneys decision not to call its upcomingStar WarsfilmThe Baby Yoda Moviewould cost the studio roughly $900 million. By naming the filmThe Mandalorian And [] The post Report: Decision Not To Call Film The Baby Yoda Movie To Cost Disney $900 Million appeared first on The Onion .
I tested ChatGPT vs. Claude to see which is better - and if it's worth switching
Considering ditching ChatGPT for Claude? I tested both on the same 10 tasks. Here's which came out on top.
Windows might be hiding some of your PC's storage by default - here's how to reclaim it
A feature called Reserved Storage keeps a small amount of storage for updates - here's how to disable it (and if you should).
AirPods Pro 3 vs. Samsung Galaxy Buds 4 Pro: Why I'm looking past brand ecosystems now
Samsung's latest wireless earbuds close the gap in audio fidelity and ANC performance with Apple - here's how to choose the right pair.
How AI has suddenly become much more useful to open-source developers
More open-source developers are finding that, when used properly, AI can actually help current and long-neglected programs. However, legal and quality issues loom.
Lithium mine clears hurdle despite conservationists' worries for rare wildflower
A federal judge ruled against conservation groups in their efforts to block a proposed lithium-boron mining project in Nevada
Appeals court suspends order for Voice of America employees to return to work
An appeals court panel has suspended a federal judges order for the Trump administration to bring hundreds of Voice of America employees back to work from paid leave
These Shark Amazon Spring Sale deals are perfect for a spring refresh - but hurry
Amazon's Big Spring Sale ends today, but there's still plenty of savings from Shark (including hair tools, cleaning gear, and more) - but don't wait.
Bystander video shows handcuffed woman escape from half-opened police cruiser window
Authorities in western Michigan say a woman who shimmied out the rear window of a police cruiser while handcuffed and then fled has been arrested
These 5 Amazon Spring Sale deals are worth a second glance before they're gone soon
It's the last day of Amazon's Big Spring Sale, but there's still last chance savings on top gear from Dyson (including vacuums, hair tools, and more).
Iran War Silver Lining: NATOs Death Knell?
In a rare silver-lining moment, the war against Iran is causing U.S. leaders to rethink Americas relationship with NATO. If a recent message from President Donald Trump to European leaders is to be taken seriously, the collective defense pact central to NATO membership is already nullified. Trump said Tuesday morning in a Truth Social message ... The post Iran War Silver Lining: NATOs Death Knell? appeared first on The New American .
This minimalist smartwatch by one of my favorite tech companies is under $100 right now
On the final day of Amazon's Spring Sale, grab the CMF by Nothing Watch Pro 3 for $69.
Report: Hegseth Attempted Big Defense Industry Investment Before War; Graham Spotted at Disney World
Hegseths financial advisors attempted a major investment in the defense industry just before Trump and Israel began bombing Iran. ... The post Report: Hegseth Attempted Big Defense Industry Investment Before War; Graham Spotted at Disney World appeared first on The New American .
Family Looking For Seashells Finds Remains Of Missing Man
A family looking for seashells in California discovered the partial remains of what has now been identified as a former banker who went missing in 1999, notifying authorities when they came across a long bone that contained surgical hardware. What do you think? The post Family Looking For Seashells Finds Remains Of Missing Man appeared first on The Onion .
Supreme Court seems likely to rule for a Black death row inmate in Mississippi
The Supreme Court seems likely to rule for a Black death row inmate from Mississippi who claims there was racial bias in the makeup of the jury that convicted him
Bulls Axe Jaden Ivey for Citing Christian Teaching on Homosexuality
The Chicago Bulls is trying to silence one of its players, Jaden Ivey, because he cited Christian teaching on homosexuality. ... The post Bulls Axe Jaden Ivey for Citing Christian Teaching on Homosexuality appeared first on The New American .
Former CentCom Chief McKenzie: U.S. Has Planned for Kharg Island Attack for Years
Retired Marine Corps General McKenzie said the U.S. has planned for a ground invasion of Kharg Island and other points in Iran for years. ... The post Former CentCom Chief McKenzie: U.S. Has Planned for Kharg Island Attack for Years appeared first on The New American .
Librarian fired for refusing to move over 100 books from children's to adult section
A local Tennessee library board has fired the countys top librarian for refusing to comply with its vote to move more than 100 LGBTQ books from the childrens to the adult section over claims
The 5 most surprising things our readers bought on Amazon this week (No. 1 is weird)
ZDNET readers love random gadgets - and during Amazon's Spring Sale this past week, they picked up some interesting niche items that are still on sale.
Ex-Arkansas medical board chair indicted over alleged drugging and abduction of patients
A federal indictment accuses an Arkansas doctor of drugging and abducting psychiatric patients to profit from health care reimbursements
7 WFH gadgets that improved my home office - Last chance for sale prices
As a remote worker, I'd recommend these WFH essentials even if they weren't marked down for Amazon's Spring Sale. Here's your last chance for discounts.
Biggest Revelations From The Hannah Montana Reunion
Last week, Disney+ reunited the stars of Hannah Montana for the first time since the series premiered two decades ago. Here are the biggest and most shocking revelations from the Hannah Montana 20th Anniversary Special. Billy Ray Cyrus was paid in pull tabs. Disney originally planned to make a Hannah for all 50 states. Miley [] The post Biggest Revelations From The Hannah Montana Reunion appeared first on The Onion .
Melania Trump Touts Robot Teachers
First Lady Melania Trump appeared with a humanoid robot during an AI education summit, claiming that mechanical educators like it will one day provide a personalized experience, adaptive to the needs of each student. What do you think? The post Melania Trump Touts Robot Teachers appeared first on The Onion .
Samsung Watch users in the US can finally track their blood pressure -but it's tricky
The feature works on Galaxy Watch 4 and newer models. You'll need the updated Samsung Health Monitor app and a cuff monitor for calibration.
Texas megachurch pastor Robert Morris is free after 6 months in an Oklahoma jail for child sex abuse
The founder of a Texas megachurch who resigned after pleading guilty to sexually abusing an Oklahoma woman in the 1980s has been released from an Oklahoma jail
Want to change your Gmail address? Now you can, without losing any data - here's how
You'll get messages sent to both your new and old addresses, but there are some limits.
I've tracked Apple for nearly 50 years: How a garage rebel became a multitrillion-dollar empire
Opinion: On Apple's 50th anniversary, here's a look at what the company gained - and lost - on its journey from a tech geeks' dream to a luxury device brand.
12 travel gadgets that can upgrade your spring break (and they're on sale)
Traveling soon? Scoop up these nifty gadgets ahead of your travels for less during the last day of Amazon's Spring Sale.
I bought my AirPods Pro 3 at full price. Don't be like me - get them for 20% off at Walmart
The AirPods Pro 3 are the best earbuds for Apple users. My only complaint is that I didn't get them for $50 off.
Amazon Spring Sale live blog 2026: Last day to score top Amazon deals
We're live-tracking the best Amazon Spring Sale deals over 60% off on home, tech, and more, on the final day of the sale.
Jury can't reach verdict in corruption trial of 2 ex-FirstEnergy executives in $60M bribery scandal
Jurors say they cant reach a verdict in the trial of two fired FirstEnergy Corp. executives in a $60 million bribery scheme in Ohio
Retired NYPD sergeant arrested in corruption probe linked to city lawmaker and governor's aide
A retired New York City police sergeant whose company provided security to the citys migrant shelters has been indicted on bribery charges
AMA: We Didnt Mean It When We Said Kids Shouldnt Get Gender Surgery
Does the American Medical Association (AMA) support or oppose gender surgery for minors? It depends on when you ask. ... The post AMA: We Didnt Mean It When We Said Kids Shouldnt Get Gender Surgery appeared first on The New American .
