Babe, You Shrunk! Says Panicked Travis Kelce To Mini Bride On Wedding Cake
NEW YORKStruggling to wrap his head around the horrific sight before him, a panicked Travis Kelce reportedly yelled, Babe, you shrunk! on Friday to the miniature bride figurine on top of the couples wedding cake. Taylor, no, God, noits going to be okay babe, just tell me who did this to you! said the Kansas [] The post Babe, You Shrunk! Says Panicked Travis Kelce To Mini Bride On Wedding Cake appeared first on The Onion .
1976 vs. 2026: A Tale of Two Birthdays
Americas Bicentennial in 1976 was 50 summers and a thousand cultural changes ago, and we're now more divided than ever. ... The post 1976 vs. 2026: A Tale of Two Birthdays appeared first on The New American .
Swimmer bitten on the foot at New York City beach in a suspected shark attack
A swimmer was bitten on the foot in a suspected shark attack at a New York City beach
U.S. Must Prepare for War With Russia, Says Intel-linked Globalist
The Council on Foreign Relations appears to be pre-programming Western society with the idea that a U.S. war against Russia is inevitable and necessary. ... The post U.S. Must Prepare for War With Russia, Says Intel-linked Globalist appeared first on The New American .
Travis Kelce Wins Coin Flip To Kick Off Vows
The post Travis Kelce Wins Coin Flip To Kick Off Vows appeared first on The Onion .
Andy Reid Seated At Empty Wedding Table With 12 Dinners
NEW YORKNavigating the venue in search of his place setting, wedding guest Andy Reid was reportedly pleased Friday to find that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce had seated him at an empty table with 12 dinners assigned to him. I think this is me, said the Kansas City Chiefs head coach to the dozen plates [] The post Andy Reid Seated At Empty Wedding Table With 12 Dinners appeared first on The Onion .
Possible super typhoon threatens US Pacific territories still recovering from last storm
Residents of U.S. territories in the western Pacific are bracing for a possible super typhoon, just months after the region was hit by the strongest tropical cyclone on Earth this year
Trump's ties to Erdogan sold him on this year's NATO summit. Turkey may win big in other ways
U.S. President Donald Trump has berated and belittled many of the European leaders expected to attend next weeks NATO summit in Turkey but has only praise for its host, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan
Latin Mass, but faithful to the pope: A Minnesota church shows a different way during schism crisis
Priests at the Church of Saint Agnes in St. Paul, Minnesota, celebrate a traditional Latin Rite Mass every Sunday, even though the practice has become a symbol of cultural and political battles among some Catholics
Is July 3 a federal holiday? What is open and closed on Friday ahead of Fourth of July
As the United States gears up for its 250th birthday on Saturday, July 4, 2026, the preceding Friday, July 3, will be observed as a federal holiday. While most retail stores and postal services will operate normally, banks will be open with potential adjusted hours. The stock market, however, will be closed. State DMVs and city offices will see varied closures, so checking local schedules is advised.
Man with a Tibetan flag dies after setting himself on fire in front of UN HQ
Officials say a man holding a Tibetan flag in front of the United Nations headquarters in New York set himself on fire and died
GOP Rep Nehls: Affordability? Im Having Lobster Tails and Ribeyes
Representative Troy Nehls gave the Democrats a soundbite that will be seen in advertisements before Novembers mid-term elections. ... The post GOP Rep Nehls: Affordability? Im Having Lobster Tails and Ribeyes appeared first on The New American .
Maine couple spots a bear chasing a moose calf and helps it escape
A Maine couple had an unexpected wildlife encounter while heading out for a day of fishing
Olivia Rodrigo Adds Adult Diapers To Merch Table
The post Olivia Rodrigo Adds Adult Diapers To Merch Table appeared first on The Onion .
Supreme Court Trans Sports Ruling Adopts Originalist Vision For JV Volleyball Rosters
WASHINGTONIn a judgment the majority of justices said reflected the intentions of the Founding Fathers, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a 6-3 ruling this week that upheld state bans on transgender athletes, adopting an originalist vision for junior varsity volleyball rosters. In their abundant wisdom, the authors of the Constitution methodically laid out the exact [] The post Supreme Court Trans Sports Ruling Adopts Originalist Vision For JV Volleyball Rosters appeared first on The Onion .
Puyallup Tribe and First Nations in Canada hope World Cup partnerships raise cultural awareness
A handful of Indigenous tribes are partnering with World Cup host cities to showcase their traditions and cultures
Massachusetts city with large Cape Verdean community sets curfew ahead of World Cup match
A Massachusetts city home to one of the nations largest Cape Verdean communities will impose a nighttime curfew ahead of Cape Verdes World Cup match against Argentina
LeBron Hopeful New Team Has One Of His Kids On It Too
The post LeBron Hopeful New Team Has One Of His Kids On It Too appeared first on The Onion .
Guy Who Goes To Bar Every Day At 10 A.M. Must Be Huge Soccer Fan
PITTSBURGHNoting that the man could often be seen waiting outside OMalleys Tap with his hands shaking in anticipation before the doors even opened, sources confirmed Thursday that local 54-year-old Brian Munson, who goes to the bar every day at 10 a.m., must be a huge soccer fan. You can just tell he lives and breathes [] The post Guy Who Goes To Bar Every Day At 10 A.M. Must Be Huge Soccer Fan appeared first on The Onion .
Trump Covers Up Low State Fair Attendance By Calling In Bomb Threat
WASHINGTONClaiming there were strings of explosive devices planted throughout the National Mall, President Donald Trump reportedly attempt to cover up low attendance at the Great American State Fair this week by calling in a bomb threat. Theres a series of explosives in unmarked duffel bags all across the fairgrounds, which are beautiful by the way, [] The post Trump Covers Up Low State Fair Attendance By Calling In Bomb Threat appeared first on The Onion .
Carlson, MTG Begin Planning to Build a Third Party
Podcaster Tucker Carlson and former GOP Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene have bolted the establishment GOP, and say its time for a third party. ... The post Carlson, MTG Begin Planning to Build a Third Party appeared first on The New American .
The best July 4th TV deals: Up to 50% off Samsung, Sony, and more
This weekend marks America's 250th birthday, which means you'll save big on TV deals from top brands, all thoroughly vetted and tested by our experts.
16 Apple Messages settings I change on every iPhone - and why
Turn these iMessage settings on or off for a cleaner, modern, and more private texting experience.
UC Berkeley Announces Nancy Pelosi Democracy Institute
Upon the former House Speakers retirement from Congress, Nancy Pelosi and the University of California, Berkeley, will establish the Nancy Pelosi Institute for Representative Democracy, a nonpartisan organization dedicated to strengthening American democracy. What do you think? The post UC Berkeley Announces Nancy Pelosi Democracy Institute appeared first on The Onion .
Elle, a new Legally Blonde prequel series on Amazon Prime Video, has premiered to mixed reviews. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the show. Q: How is the story updated for 2026? A: The story is now spread out over 16 more hours than it needed to be. Q: What stereotypes does [] The post What To Know About Elle appeared first on The Onion .
LG is giving away free single-door refrigerators - how to qualify for the deal
When you buy this refrigerator model on sale, LG will give you a free single-door refrigerator too - perfect for the garage or basement.
EPA Approves More Forever Chemical Pesticides for Food Crops
The action is yet another reminder that the federal government has no constitutional authority to manage pesticides or public health. ... The post EPA Approves More Forever Chemical Pesticides for Food Crops appeared first on The New American .
Vatican Excommunicates Traditionalist Group for Schism
The Vatican has pronounced a decree of excommunication against adherents of a traditionalist group that adheres to the Latin Mass. ... The post Vatican Excommunicates Traditionalist Group for Schism appeared first on The New American .
I've been reviewing laptops for years: These are the 15+ best July 4th laptop deals
The Fourth of July weekend brings tons of sales on top laptops we've reviewed, from Apple, Acer, Lenovo, and more.
The best July 4 deals live now: Save on Anker, Garmin, Apple, and more
Fourth of July weekend is almost here, and there are plenty of deals to celebrate.
The 10 most popular products ZDNET readers bought last month (including during Prime Day)
From gadgets to streaming, these are the top tech gadgets and useful items our readers actually purchased in June.
The Supreme Court tackled race, history and the law in fraught and reflective major rulings
The Supreme Court has wrapped up a term with significant rulings on race and discrimination
I tested the LG C6 OLED for a week, and the colors made me question my Mini LED loyalty
One of LG's flagship OLED TVs got a refresh with the C6, and continues to prove why OLED is worth the high asking price.
HP's new OmniBook is a smart buy in this economy - here's what convinced me
HP's OmniBook Ultra 14 combines a sleek design and OLED display with the kind of performance professionals appreciate.
ExpressVPN's password manager just got a big upgrade with secure sharing, passkey support, and more
Available today, ExpressKeys now delivers more secure sharing, passkey support, and improved cross-device management.
Agriculture Department Puts Trumps Face On Soybeans
The post Agriculture Department Puts Trumps Face On Soybeans appeared first on The Onion .
Over the past decade, many Americans have likely found themselves contemplating what life might have looked like if things had turned out otherwise for Hillary Clinton. Would we be richer? Would we be at war? One thing is certain: Had Secretary Clinton won the 2016 Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest, the world would be a [] The post The World Would Be A Much Different Place If Hillary Clinton Had Won The 2016 Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest appeared first on The Onion .
Take Us To Your Biggest Pedophile Demand Surprisingly Politically Informed Aliens
WASHINGTONDisplaying an uncanny comprehension of humanitys power structures as they emerged from their interstellar spacecraft, a delegation of surprisingly politically informed aliens issued demands Tuesday to be taken to Earths biggest pedophile.People of Earth, you will bring us before the massive child molester in charge of managing your planets affairs at once! said Grelahr Xoxneb [] The post Take Us To Your Biggest Pedophile Demand Surprisingly Politically Informed Aliens appeared first on The Onion .
Legendary corporate raider Bruce Nakagami, 76, is doing leveraged buyouts with the angels now. The post Bruce Nakagami appeared first on The Onion .
How I set OpenAI API usage limits to stop agent overspending and other AI billing nightmares
OpenAI API costs can spiral when agents run wild. Here's how to set spend limits, enable hard caps, and avoid surprise AI bills.
Microsoft's new Azure Linux 4.0 is here, and it could replace Windows Server in the enterprise
Microsoft's Linux server distribution is now available as an ISO to install on your own server or virtual machine.
Shark attack on Alabama teen inspires the start of a national alert system
Lulu Gribbin survived a near-fatal shark attack in 2024
I tried Brave's new stripped down Origin browser, and now it's my top Chromium-based pick
If you like the idea of Brave's browser security, but all of the other features just get in your way, the developers have created a solution for you.
If you like COSMIC Desktop, you'll love its new system monitor
If you like to see and manage your system processes on Linux, but aren't happy with the tool you're using, System76 might have just the app you've been looking for (and a reason to switch to either COSMIC Desktop or Pop!_OS).
Opera is releasing a new feature that detects and blocks malicious clipboard content
If you tend to copy/paste content from websites, you might be surprised to find yourself under the thrall of a ClickFix attack, but Opera has a solution to fix it before you click it.
Belgium overturns two-goal deficit to beat Senegal 3-2 in extra time in round of 32 at World Cup
Belgium overturns two-goal deficit to beat Senegal 3-2 in extra time in round of 32 at World Cup
Ransom notes in Nancy Guthrie case still being investigated as legitimate, FBI says
The FBI has discounted some of the ransom notes that surfaced after the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie as extortion attempts
16 children rescued from Ohio home were 'almost feral,' authorities say
Authorities say 16 children from the same family who were rescued from a run-down home in rural Ohio were living in horrific conditions and were confined to just one room over much of the past four years
Tropical Storm Douglas has formed in the Pacific Ocean
Tropical Storm Douglas has formed in the Pacific Ocean
Head of the Chicago Police Department to retire after 3 years in the position
The head of the Chicago Police Department has announced that he will retire after a short tenure leading the nations second-largest police force
John Dickinsons missing 1776 signature haunts his legacy
Jane Calvert has spent 25 years championing John Dickinson, a lesser-known Revolutionary War figure
Is hiring picking up in the US? Thursday's report will help illustrate trends
Thursdays report from the Labor Department on June job changes will provide some important clues on the health of the U.S. economy
Warning! AI Data Center Promoters Are Lying to Stop Our Opposition!
Those fighting to protect our free-market economy, private property, and personal choice are falsely being labeled Luddites who are stopping progress. ... The post Warning! AI Data Center Promoters Are Lying to Stop Our Opposition! appeared first on The New American .
Town in Quebec, Canada, Recognizes Right to Life for Trees
The recognition of trees as living beings raises questions about the source and proper meaning of rights. ... The post Town in Quebec, Canada, Recognizes Right to Life for Trees appeared first on The New American .
Tropical storm Douglas forms in Pacific Ocean, no threat to land: Hurricane center
Tropical Storm Douglas has formed in the Pacific Ocean
House OKs Res to Publish Sexual Abusers and Harassers Along With Payouts $18M Since 1997
The U.S. House passed a resolution yesterday requiring the chambers Ethics Committee to release the names of members for whom taxpayers coughed up settlements for sex-harassment claims. ... The post House OKs Res to Publish Sexual Abusers and Harassers Along With Payouts $18M Since 1997 appeared first on The New American .
Locals Battle UNESCO Invasion of Georgia
Local communities across Georgias Okefenokee Swamp region are pushing back hard against a proposed UNESCO World Heritage Site designation of the beloved natural resource, but globalists are still hard at work, explained Americans for the Okefenokee leader Brooks Strickland in this interview on Conversations That Matter with Alex Newman. Brooks, who has helped muster enormous ... The post Locals Battle UNESCO Invasion of Georgia appeared first on The New American .
California to institute Bruce Lee Day, a first for a Chinese American in the state's history
Martial arts icon Bruce Lee, who was born in San Francisco, will become the first Chinese American in California history with an annual namesake day
Challengers score victories in lawsuit against Arkansas' restrictions on citizen ballot initiatives
A federal judge in Arkansas is throwing out some state laws that put extra restrictions on efforts to gather signatures for ballot initiatives
Lakers Not Sure Where LeBron Got Badge And Gun He Just Turned In
The post Lakers Not Sure Where LeBron Got Badge And Gun He Just Turned In appeared first on The Onion .
Sweeping review of grand jury presentations underway in Chicago following misconduct revelations
Justice Department officials are conducting a sweeping review of more than 1,000 grand jury presentations made by Illinois prosecutors following the dismissal of a high-profile case over misconduct
Alibaba to pay US $600M to settle allegations it allowed illegal sales
Alibaba has agreed to pay $600 million to settle a dispute with the U.S. government
Trump administration sues California, Virginia over new gun laws
The Trump administration has sued California and Virginia over new laws in both states that restrict the sale of semiautomatic firearms
New autopsy of a baby killed by police in Mississippi deepens outrage
A Mississippi family whose 1-year-old child was killed when officers fired into a moving car are challenging police claims about the shooting
I've tested many portable Linux distros, but PorteuX is the one I keep on my USB drive
Ever longed for a Linux distro to have with you at all times? Consider the super-fast, modular, and immutable Slackware-based PorteuX.
I wore the Oura Ring 5 for a month, and it's an even bigger upgrade than expected
However, you're really buying the Oura Ring 5 for one reason.
Fire rips through Ohio motel, killing 3 who were trapped in a room
Authorities in Ohio say a fire at a motel trapped residents in a room, killing three people inside
I tested Lenovo's new modular ThinkPad, and it renewed my faith in repairable laptops
The 14th-gen Lenovo ThinkPad X1 Carbon Aura Edition features a redesigned double-sided motherboard and modular components.
From Chocolate Avenue to the World Cup, how Hershey, Pennsylvania, shaped Christian Pulisic
Standout U.S. national soccer team player Christian Pulisic hails from Hershey, Pennsylvania
I changed 12 Hisense TV settings to significantly improve the picture quality
Your Hisense TV may already look great, but a few setting tweaks can make it even better.
Extraordinary heat in US Northeast arrives to clash with Fourth of July revelry
Multiday warnings of extreme heat have landed in New York, Boston and Philadelphia
Changes to student loans are taking effect July 1. Here's what to know
Changes to federal student loans that are expected to affect millions of student loan borrowers are taking effect as of July 1
What to know about fireworks and the risk of wildfires this July 4th
With wildfires raging across the Western U.S., cities and states are restricting fireworks as the nation gears up for a big Fourth of July
Why Dj Dup and these 4 other tiny Linux tools have become essential to my daily routine
Linux has a wealth of applications, but sometimes the smaller tools get overlooked. Here's a list of those I'd prefer never to be without.
Basketball World Waiting With Bated Breath To See Where Sandro Mamukelashvili Signs
The post Basketball World Waiting With Bated Breath To See Where Sandro Mamukelashvili Signs appeared first on The Onion .
I had Gemini and Claude write my email replies - but only one sounds like me
Gemini and Claude have their own strong suits, but for assistance in writing emails, there is only one clear winner.
The U.S. Dollars Eroding Purchasing Power
The U.S. dollar has lost nearly 30 percent of its purchasing power since 2020, a stark illustration of inflations impact on Americans. ... The post The U.S. Dollars Eroding Purchasing Power appeared first on The New American .
Trump administration lifts restrictions on Anthropic's Claude models after cybersecurity alarm
The Trump administration has lifted restrictions on artificial intelligence company Anthropics latest versions of its Claude chatbot, ending a weekslong ban tied to cybersecurity concerns
I found the 20+ best 4th of July phone deals: Save big on Galaxy, Pixel, iPhone, and more
Score big Fourth of July savings on flagship smartphones from Samsung, Google, Apple, and more.
Want a private ChatGPT alternative? How Proton's Lumo 2.0 locks down your data, EU style
The maker of ProtonMail and ProtonVPN says its second-generation chatbot is never trained on user data.
This new Android security setting spots bad networks and fake cell towers - enable it ASAP
Connecting to the wrong network can put your data at risk. Android can warn you, but only if you allow it.
Federal Reserve Chair Warsh emphasizes political independence, signals focus on inflation
New Federal Reserve Chair Kevin Warsh said Wednesday that the central bank would remain independent and seek to bring down inflation, likely foreclosing the rate cuts President Trump has sought
Connecting my TV to a router VPN was one of my smartest home network upgrades
Setting up a VPN on your smart TV blocks hackers from accessing your network and stealing your data. But there are other benefits, too.
Marine heat wave caused seabird deaths off California. El Nino could worsen die-off
Many seabirds are starving to death as a marine heat wave lingers off California and fish seek deeper, cooler waters
The new enterprise AI expert every company needs - and why
This role makes the difference between your business winning and losing in the age of AI.
Judge orders Pentagon to lift policy that NYT journalists be accompanied by an escort
A federal judge has ordered the Pentagon to lift its requirement that New York Times journalists be accompanied by an escort while in the building
Retrofitted Qatari jet takes flight as Air Force One for Trump's trip to North Dakota
Salivating Brewers Fans Chase Down Mascots In Sausage Race
MILWAUKEEClimbing down from the stands with mustard and ketchup packets clutched in their fists, dozens of rabid, salivating Milwaukee Brewers fans reportedly chased down the contestants in the traditional Johnsonville Sausage Race midway through Tuesdays game.They took after those sausages like a pack of wolves, said Brewers outfielder Brandon Lockridge, recalling the unmistakable look of [] The post Salivating Brewers Fans Chase Down Mascots In Sausage Race appeared first on The Onion .
Harvard Faces Pressure To Fire Confederate Generals
CAMBRIDGE, MAInsisting any missteps be viewed in the full context of each individuals contributions to the institution, Harvard University officials defended on Wednesday their decision to keep several confederate generals on the schools teaching staff. Last week, Harvard president Alan M. Garber told students in a campus-wide email that he had declined to discipline several [] The post Harvard Faces Pressure To Fire Confederate Generals appeared first on The Onion .
Trump Indicates Desire For Speedy End To World
WASHINGTONStating that he hoped action in the region would draw to a close in the coming weeks, President Donald Trump made comments Wednesday indicating his desire for a speedy end to the entire world.Were getting very close to meeting our objectives as we move toward winding down humanitys presence on planet Earth, Trump said during [] The post Trump Indicates Desire For Speedy End To World appeared first on The Onion .
