Female American rower completes record-breaking solo journey
A Grand Canyon river rafting guide who aimed to become the first American woman to row across the mid-Pacific solo has completed a record-breaking journey from California to Hawaii
Historians Theorize Declaration Of Independence Started As Twilight Fan Fiction
WASHINGTONOffering new insight into the origins of Americas founding document, a group of leading historians published a report this week theorizing that the Declaration of Independence started out as Twilight fan fiction. Based on newly unearthed correspondence between our nations Founding Fathers, we hypothesize that the document that ultimately became the Declaration originated as a [] The post Historians Theorize Declaration Of Independence Started As Twilight Fan Fiction appeared first on The Onion .
Original 13 States Renew Declaration Of Independence In Beachfront Ceremony
PLYMOUTH, MAReaffirming their commitment to sovereignty against a backdrop of crashing waves and the setting sun, the original 13 American states renewed the Declaration of Independence Saturday in a beautiful beachfront ceremony. Now repeat after me, do you free and independent states hold these truths to be self-evident? said officiant Barack Obama, adding that despite [] The post Original 13 States Renew Declaration Of Independence In Beachfront Ceremony appeared first on The Onion .
A Declaration Of Independence From The Rest Of The World
In The Onion, July 4, 2026By the REPRESENTATIVES of theONION EDITORIAL BOARD, When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the bands which have connected them with other far more annoying and troublesome peoples, and to assume, among the powers of the earth, the separate and greater station [] The post A Declaration Of Independence From The Rest Of The World appeared first on The Onion .
Nation Turns 250 Despite Presence Of Irish
CAMBRIDGE, MARinging in the momentous occasion with firework displays, community service projects, and chants of bog-trotters go home, the United States of America turned 250 on Saturday despite the presence of the Irish. The semiquincentennial, marking two and a half centuries since the signing of the Declaration of Independence, was observed by approximately 308 million [] The post Nation Turns 250 Despite Presence Of Irish appeared first on The Onion .
Patriot Tears Up While Pretending Washington Monument Is His Penis
The post Patriot Tears Up While Pretending Washington Monument Is His Penis appeared first on The Onion .
The post Breaking: Salute The General! appeared first on The Onion .
I found 4 Bluetooth gadgets that are highly functional - and cheap
Some of my favorite practical Bluetooth gadgets are cheaper than you think.
You can get 4 of the newest AirTags for just $89 right now - here's why I recommend them
The latest Apple AirTags are now on sale for the Fourth of July weekend.
These 12 tiny travel gadgets will upgrade your flight or drive - and they won't break the bank
Traveling soon? Scoop up these nifty gadgets ahead of your travels for less.
I tried Android Auto's new Adobe Acrobat PDF app - and it's surprisingly useful
No, you can't read and drive. But you can catch up on important documents.
As America Marks Its 250th Anniversary, Debates Rage Over National Identity
This July 4th, the United States commemorates the semiquincentennial 250 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence. America 250 and Freedom 250 celebrate the earliest days of our nation. Yet a modern debate rages: What does it mean to be American? The recent Supreme Court decision in Trump v. Barbara defines citizenship ... The post As America Marks Its 250th Anniversary, Debates Rage Over National Identity appeared first on The New American .
The co-owner of lumber mill has died of injuries from the mill fire and explosion
The co-owner of a Maine lumber mill has died from injuries he sustained during a fire and explosion at the facility, bringing to three the number of fatalities
Chess federation suspends former world champion who accused Naroditsky of cheating
The international governing body for chess has suspended former world champion Vladimir Kramnik for at least a year
Andy Reid Approaches Floor For Traditional Coach-Tight End Wedding Dance
NEW YORKRising from his seat as the first notes of Lee Ann Womacks I Hope You Dance blasted over the sound system, Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid was seen approaching the floor Friday evening for the traditional coach-tight end wedding dance. Its a moment every coach dreams about from the time he drafts his [] The post Andy Reid Approaches Floor For Traditional Coach-Tight End Wedding Dance appeared first on The Onion .
Babe, You Shrunk! Says Panicked Travis Kelce To Mini Bride On Wedding Cake
NEW YORKStruggling to wrap his head around the horrific sight before him, a panicked Travis Kelce reportedly yelled, Babe, you shrunk! on Friday to the miniature bride figurine on top of the couples wedding cake. Taylor, no, God, noits going to be okay babe, just tell me who did this to you! said the Kansas [] The post Babe, You Shrunk! Says Panicked Travis Kelce To Mini Bride On Wedding Cake appeared first on The Onion .
1976 vs. 2026: A Tale of Two Birthdays
Americas Bicentennial in 1976 was 50 summers and a thousand cultural changes ago, and we're now more divided than ever. ... The post 1976 vs. 2026: A Tale of Two Birthdays appeared first on The New American .
Swimmer bitten on the foot at New York City beach in a suspected shark attack
A swimmer was bitten on the foot in a suspected shark attack at a New York City beach
U.S. Must Prepare for War With Russia, Says Intel-linked Globalist
The Council on Foreign Relations appears to be pre-programming Western society with the idea that a U.S. war against Russia is inevitable and necessary. ... The post U.S. Must Prepare for War With Russia, Says Intel-linked Globalist appeared first on The New American .
Travis Kelce Wins Coin Flip To Kick Off Vows
The post Travis Kelce Wins Coin Flip To Kick Off Vows appeared first on The Onion .
What to know about the challenges ahead for the children rescued from an Ohio home
The 16 children rescued a Ohio home in deplorable conditions face a long road toward recovery, experts say
Possible super typhoon threatens US Pacific territories still recovering from last storm
Residents of U.S. territories in the western Pacific are bracing for a possible super typhoon, just months after the region was hit by the strongest tropical cyclone on Earth this year
Trump's ties to Erdogan sold him on this year's NATO summit. Turkey may win big in other ways
U.S. President Donald Trump has berated and belittled many of the European leaders expected to attend next weeks NATO summit in Turkey but has only praise for its host, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan
Latin Mass, but faithful to the pope: A Minnesota church shows a different way during schism crisis
Priests at the Church of Saint Agnes in St. Paul, Minnesota, celebrate a traditional Latin Rite Mass every Sunday, even though the practice has become a symbol of cultural and political battles among some Catholics
Is July 3 a federal holiday? What is open and closed on Friday ahead of Fourth of July
As the United States gears up for its 250th birthday on Saturday, July 4, 2026, the preceding Friday, July 3, will be observed as a federal holiday. While most retail stores and postal services will operate normally, banks will be open with potential adjusted hours. The stock market, however, will be closed. State DMVs and city offices will see varied closures, so checking local schedules is advised.
Man with a Tibetan flag dies after setting himself on fire in front of UN HQ
Officials say a man holding a Tibetan flag in front of the United Nations headquarters in New York set himself on fire and died
GOP Rep Nehls: Affordability? Im Having Lobster Tails and Ribeyes
Representative Troy Nehls gave the Democrats a soundbite that will be seen in advertisements before Novembers mid-term elections. ... The post GOP Rep Nehls: Affordability? Im Having Lobster Tails and Ribeyes appeared first on The New American .
Maine couple spots a bear chasing a moose calf and helps it escape
A Maine couple had an unexpected wildlife encounter while heading out for a day of fishing
Fable 5 just set a new AI freelance work performance record - but it can't replace humans yet
The newly reinstated Anthropic model topped charts for automating work. Here's what that means for the future.
Supreme Court Trans Sports Ruling Adopts Originalist Vision For JV Volleyball Rosters
WASHINGTONIn a judgment the majority of justices said reflected the intentions of the Founding Fathers, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a 6-3 ruling this week that upheld state bans on transgender athletes, adopting an originalist vision for junior varsity volleyball rosters. In their abundant wisdom, the authors of the Constitution methodically laid out the exact [] The post Supreme Court Trans Sports Ruling Adopts Originalist Vision For JV Volleyball Rosters appeared first on The Onion .
Puyallup Tribe and First Nations in Canada hope World Cup partnerships raise cultural awareness
A handful of Indigenous tribes are partnering with World Cup host cities to showcase their traditions and cultures
Massachusetts city with large Cape Verdean community sets curfew ahead of World Cup match
A Massachusetts city home to one of the nations largest Cape Verdean communities will impose a nighttime curfew ahead of Cape Verdes World Cup match against Argentina
LeBron Hopeful New Team Has One Of His Kids On It Too
The post LeBron Hopeful New Team Has One Of His Kids On It Too appeared first on The Onion .
Guy Who Goes To Bar Every Day At 10 A.M. Must Be Huge Soccer Fan
PITTSBURGHNoting that the man could often be seen waiting outside OMalleys Tap with his hands shaking in anticipation before the doors even opened, sources confirmed Thursday that local 54-year-old Brian Munson, who goes to the bar every day at 10 a.m., must be a huge soccer fan. You can just tell he lives and breathes [] The post Guy Who Goes To Bar Every Day At 10 A.M. Must Be Huge Soccer Fan appeared first on The Onion .
Trump Covers Up Low State Fair Attendance By Calling In Bomb Threat
WASHINGTONClaiming there were strings of explosive devices planted throughout the National Mall, President Donald Trump reportedly attempt to cover up low attendance at the Great American State Fair this week by calling in a bomb threat. Theres a series of explosives in unmarked duffel bags all across the fairgrounds, which are beautiful by the way, [] The post Trump Covers Up Low State Fair Attendance By Calling In Bomb Threat appeared first on The Onion .
Carlson, MTG Begin Planning to Build a Third Party
Podcaster Tucker Carlson and former GOP Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene have bolted the establishment GOP, and say its time for a third party. ... The post Carlson, MTG Begin Planning to Build a Third Party appeared first on The New American .
Tiger Woods hospital records will be handed over to prosecutors in Florida DUI case, judge rules
A judge has ruled that prosecutors are allowed to review medical records related to Tiger Woods March vehicle crash and subsequent arrest in Florida on suspicion of driving under the influence
16 Apple Messages settings I change on every iPhone - and why
Turn these iMessage settings on or off for a cleaner, modern, and more private texting experience.
UC Berkeley Announces Nancy Pelosi Democracy Institute
Upon the former House Speakers retirement from Congress, Nancy Pelosi and the University of California, Berkeley, will establish the Nancy Pelosi Institute for Representative Democracy, a nonpartisan organization dedicated to strengthening American democracy. What do you think? The post UC Berkeley Announces Nancy Pelosi Democracy Institute appeared first on The Onion .
Elle, a new Legally Blonde prequel series on Amazon Prime Video, has premiered to mixed reviews. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the show. Q: How is the story updated for 2026? A: The story is now spread out over 16 more hours than it needed to be. Q: What stereotypes does [] The post What To Know About Elle appeared first on The Onion .
LG is giving away free single-door refrigerators - how to qualify for the deal
When you buy this refrigerator model on sale, LG will give you a free single-door refrigerator too - perfect for the garage or basement.
EPA Approves More Forever Chemical Pesticides for Food Crops
The action is yet another reminder that the federal government has no constitutional authority to manage pesticides or public health. ... The post EPA Approves More Forever Chemical Pesticides for Food Crops appeared first on The New American .
Vatican Excommunicates Traditionalist Group for Schism
The Vatican has pronounced a decree of excommunication against adherents of a traditionalist group that adheres to the Latin Mass. ... The post Vatican Excommunicates Traditionalist Group for Schism appeared first on The New American .
I've been reviewing laptops for years: These are the 15+ best July 4th laptop deals
The Fourth of July weekend brings tons of sales on top laptops we've reviewed, from Apple, Acer, Lenovo, and more.
Plug-in solar poses 6 safety risks, say electrical industry groups - here's when to call a pro
Several industry groups have raised public safety concerns about consumer plug-in solar kits. If in doubt about your installation, here's what to do.
The 10 most popular products ZDNET readers bought last month (including during Prime Day)
From gadgets to streaming, these are the top tech gadgets and useful items our readers actually purchased in June.
The Supreme Court tackled race, history and the law in fraught and reflective major rulings
The Supreme Court has wrapped up a term with significant rulings on race and discrimination
I tested the LG C6 OLED for a week, and the colors made me question my Mini LED loyalty
One of LG's flagship OLED TVs got a refresh with the C6, and continues to prove why OLED is worth the high asking price.
HP's new OmniBook is a smart buy in this economy - here's what convinced me
HP's OmniBook Ultra 14 combines a sleek design and OLED display with the kind of performance professionals appreciate.
ExpressVPN's password manager just got a big upgrade with secure sharing, passkey support, and more
Available today, ExpressKeys now delivers more secure sharing, passkey support, and improved cross-device management.
Agriculture Department Puts Trumps Face On Soybeans
The post Agriculture Department Puts Trumps Face On Soybeans appeared first on The Onion .
Over the past decade, many Americans have likely found themselves contemplating what life might have looked like if things had turned out otherwise for Hillary Clinton. Would we be richer? Would we be at war? One thing is certain: Had Secretary Clinton won the 2016 Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest, the world would be a [] The post The World Would Be A Much Different Place If Hillary Clinton Had Won The 2016 Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest appeared first on The Onion .
Police Suspect Gunmans Motive Was To Kill Bunch Of People
Desire To Murder May Have Driven Man To Pull Trigger The post Police Suspect Gunmans Motive Was To Kill Bunch Of People appeared first on The Onion .
Legendary corporate raider Bruce Nakagami, 76, is doing leveraged buyouts with the angels now. The post Bruce Nakagami appeared first on The Onion .
How I set OpenAI API usage limits to stop agent overspending and other AI billing nightmares
OpenAI API costs can spiral when agents run wild. Here's how to set spend limits, enable hard caps, and avoid surprise AI bills.
Microsoft's new Azure Linux 4.0 is here, and it could replace Windows Server in the enterprise
Microsoft's Linux server distribution is now available as an ISO to install on your own server or virtual machine.
Shark attack on Alabama teen inspires the start of a national alert system
Lulu Gribbin survived a near-fatal shark attack in 2024
I tried Brave's new stripped down Origin browser, and now it's my top Chromium-based pick
If you like the idea of Brave's browser security, but all of the other features just get in your way, the developers have created a solution for you.
If you like COSMIC Desktop, you'll love its new system monitor
If you like to see and manage your system processes on Linux, but aren't happy with the tool you're using, System76 might have just the app you've been looking for (and a reason to switch to either COSMIC Desktop or Pop!_OS).
Opera is releasing a new feature that detects and blocks malicious clipboard content
If you tend to copy/paste content from websites, you might be surprised to find yourself under the thrall of a ClickFix attack, but Opera has a solution to fix it before you click it.
Asian stocks mostly decline on a sell-off of chip shares, with Kospi down nearly 8%
Shares have slumped in Japan and South Korea in the latest spate of heavy selling of computer chip stocks
Ransom notes in Nancy Guthrie case still being investigated as legitimate, FBI says
The FBI has discounted some of the ransom notes that surfaced after the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie as extortion attempts
16 children rescued from Ohio home were 'almost feral,' authorities say
Authorities say 16 children from the same family who were rescued from a run-down home in rural Ohio were living in horrific conditions and were confined to just one room over much of the past four years
Tropical Storm Douglas has formed in the Pacific Ocean
Tropical Storm Douglas has formed in the Pacific Ocean
Head of the Chicago Police Department to retire after 3 years in the position
The head of the Chicago Police Department has announced that he will retire after a short tenure leading the nations second-largest police force
John Dickinsons missing 1776 signature haunts his legacy
Jane Calvert has spent 25 years championing John Dickinson, a lesser-known Revolutionary War figure
Is hiring picking up in the US? Thursday's report will help illustrate trends
Thursdays report from the Labor Department on June job changes will provide some important clues on the health of the U.S. economy
Warning! AI Data Center Promoters Are Lying to Stop Our Opposition!
Those fighting to protect our free-market economy, private property, and personal choice are falsely being labeled Luddites who are stopping progress. ... The post Warning! AI Data Center Promoters Are Lying to Stop Our Opposition! appeared first on The New American .
Omar Linked to Somali Charged in $250M Feeding Our Future Fraud Scheme
Far-left Democratic Representative Ilhan Omar of Minnesota faces renewed scrutiny about her role in the Feeding Our Future food-fraud scandal centered in her Somali-dominated district. ... The post Omar Linked to Somali Charged in $250M Feeding Our Future Fraud Scheme appeared first on The New American .
Tropical storm Douglas forms in Pacific Ocean, no threat to land: Hurricane center
Tropical Storm Douglas has formed in the Pacific Ocean
House OKs Res to Publish Sexual Abusers and Harassers Along With Payouts $18M Since 1997
The U.S. House passed a resolution yesterday requiring the chambers Ethics Committee to release the names of members for whom taxpayers coughed up settlements for sex-harassment claims. ... The post House OKs Res to Publish Sexual Abusers and Harassers Along With Payouts $18M Since 1997 appeared first on The New American .
Locals Battle UNESCO Invasion of Georgia
Local communities across Georgias Okefenokee Swamp region are pushing back hard against a proposed UNESCO World Heritage Site designation of the beloved natural resource, but globalists are still hard at work, explained Americans for the Okefenokee leader Brooks Strickland in this interview on Conversations That Matter with Alex Newman. Brooks, who has helped muster enormous ... The post Locals Battle UNESCO Invasion of Georgia appeared first on The New American .
California to institute Bruce Lee Day, a first for a Chinese American in the state's history
Martial arts icon Bruce Lee, who was born in San Francisco, will become the first Chinese American in California history with an annual namesake day
Challengers score victories in lawsuit against Arkansas' restrictions on citizen ballot initiatives
A federal judge in Arkansas is throwing out some state laws that put extra restrictions on efforts to gather signatures for ballot initiatives
Lakers Not Sure Where LeBron Got Badge And Gun He Just Turned In
The post Lakers Not Sure Where LeBron Got Badge And Gun He Just Turned In appeared first on The Onion .
Sweeping review of grand jury presentations underway in Chicago following misconduct revelations
Justice Department officials are conducting a sweeping review of more than 1,000 grand jury presentations made by Illinois prosecutors following the dismissal of a high-profile case over misconduct
NYC police are bracing for July 4, World Cup action, searing heat -- and maybe a pop star's wedding
The New York Police Department is bracing for a slew of massive Independence Day celebrations along with a World Cup match this weekend, scrambling thousands of officers on land, sea and air to handle security measures as an intense heat wave bears dow...
Trump administration sues California, Virginia over new gun laws
The Trump administration has sued California and Virginia over new laws in both states that restrict the sale of semiautomatic firearms
New autopsy of a baby killed by police in Mississippi deepens outrage
A Mississippi family whose 1-year-old child was killed when officers fired into a moving car are challenging police claims about the shooting
I've tested many portable Linux distros, but PorteuX is the one I keep on my USB drive
Ever longed for a Linux distro to have with you at all times? Consider the super-fast, modular, and immutable Slackware-based PorteuX.
I wore the Oura Ring 5 for a month, and it's an even bigger upgrade than expected
However, you're really buying the Oura Ring 5 for one reason.
Fire rips through Ohio motel, killing 3 who were trapped in a room
Authorities in Ohio say a fire at a motel trapped residents in a room, killing three people inside
I tested Lenovo's new modular ThinkPad, and it renewed my faith in repairable laptops
The 14th-gen Lenovo ThinkPad X1 Carbon Aura Edition features a redesigned double-sided motherboard and modular components.
From Chocolate Avenue to the World Cup, how Hershey, Pennsylvania, shaped Christian Pulisic
Standout U.S. national soccer team player Christian Pulisic hails from Hershey, Pennsylvania
I changed 12 Hisense TV settings to significantly improve the picture quality
Your Hisense TV may already look great, but a few setting tweaks can make it even better.
Kennedy Ends Covid EUA Declarations, but PREP Act Shield Remains
As long as the PREP Act shield remains in place, the move looks less like accountability and more like a marketing exercise dressed up as a ceremonial retirement of paperwork. ... The post Kennedy Ends Covid EUA Declarations, but PREP Act Shield Remains appeared first on The New American .
Extraordinary heat in US Northeast arrives to clash with Fourth of July revelry
Multiday warnings of extreme heat have landed in New York, Boston and Philadelphia
Changes to student loans are taking effect July 1. Here's what to know
Changes to federal student loans that are expected to affect millions of student loan borrowers are taking effect as of July 1
