Japanese Diplomat Worried He Embarrassed Himself In Front Of Kid Rock
WASHINGTONMortified at the effect his blundering might have on delicate relations between the two countries, Japanese diplomat Ryuto Tanaka confirmed Thursday that he was worried he had embarrassed himself in front of Kid Rock. This is a man of great importance in the United States, and I have dishonored myself as well as the Japanese [] The post Japanese Diplomat Worried He Embarrassed Himself In Front Of Kid Rock appeared first on The Onion .
Melania Takes Camilla On Fun Girls Day Of Staring Coldly Across Empty Room In Silence
The post Melania Takes Camilla On Fun Girls Day Of Staring Coldly Across Empty Room In Silence appeared first on The Onion .
Thousands of readers bought these 10 useful tools and gadgets (No. 5 gets weird)
From Bluetooth trackers to (checks notes) a smart insect bite healer, these are the top gadgets our readers have actually purchased in 2026 so far.
An Anti-Hate Crime Scheme Fails Again
Is the number of hate crimes really increasing, or is it just that authorities' tendency to label crimes as hate crimes is growing? ... The post An Anti-Hate Crime Scheme Fails Again appeared first on The New American .
After testing this Linux laptop, I understand why MacBooks are the superior choice
The new Tuxedo InfinityBook Max 15 is an impressive Linux laptop for everyday use, with a few concerns.
It uses Opus 4.7 to scan, validate, and generate patches, helping fix dangerous flaws before they can be exploited.
Its Time to Bring the Southern Poverty Law Center to Justice
It's time to end the SPLC's reign of terror by severing its powerful connections with our government that make it such a threat. ... The post Its Time to Bring the Southern Poverty Law Center to Justice appeared first on The New American .
Rita Oras Agent Scores Singer Another Prime Crossword Puzzle Placement
LOS ANGELESInstructing his client to drop what she was doing and take a look in todays New York Times, talent agent Jeremy Weinrib informed Rita Ora on Thursday that he had scored the singer another prime crossword puzzle placement. Two down, top left, thats all you baby, said Weinrib, who urged Ora to pop a [] The post Rita Oras Agent Scores Singer Another Prime Crossword Puzzle Placement appeared first on The Onion .
Truck driver last seen at a Florida rest stop is found dead in Georgia
Federal authorities are investigating the death of a truck driver whose body was discovered in Georgia after he was last seen alive at a Florida rest stop
Sony vs. Bose: My buying advice after listening to flagship headphones from both brands
Sony and Bose make best-in-class headphones, but my extended time with the latest flagship models reveals their true strengths and weaknesses.
Man charged with possessing meth lab chemicals in Michigan State building
Michigan State University scrambled to relocate some final exams after police said they discovered a man inside an academic building with household substances that could be used to run a methamphetamine lab
The pastor of the nations largest Methodist church is running for the US Senate in Kansas
The pastor of the largest United Methodist Church in the U.S. has launched a campaign for the Democratic nomination for a U.S. Senate seat in Kansas
Harvey Weinstein's lawyers question his accuser at his rape retrial
Harvey Weinsteins lawyers are getting their chance to query his accuser at his rape retrial
I asked ChatGPT Images 2.0 to redesign my app UIs - and wow
ChatGPT analyzed two of my apps, flagged issues, and generated new mockups. It's a game-changer.
Samsung Galaxy vs. Google Pixel: My take after testing dozens of phones from both brands
Samsung and Google make some of the best Android phones, but they're very different. Here's when to choose a Galaxy or a Pixel.
Whistleblower Claims and Excess Mortality Data Spark Debate on Covid-19 Vaccine Safety
Former Pfizer toxicologist Helmut Sterz estimated 20,000 to 60,000 deaths in Germany alone from Pfizer's Comirnaty vaccine. ... The post Whistleblower Claims and Excess Mortality Data Spark Debate on Covid-19 Vaccine Safety appeared first on The New American .
The Onions Exclusive Interview With Clavicular
Influencer Braden Peters, better known as Clavicular, has generated controversy for his looksmaxxing content. The Onion sat down with the streamer to discuss his views, methods, and aspirations. The Onion: Do you consider your methods to be extreme? Clavicular: I get called extreme, but no one blinks an eye when Ms. Rachel tells kids to [] The post The Onions Exclusive Interview With Clavicular appeared first on The Onion .
Youre Not Wrong, Babies Are Getting Worse: Enshittification Comes For A Once-Beloved Classic
The post Youre Not Wrong, Babies Are Getting Worse: Enshittification Comes For A Once-Beloved Classic appeared first on The Onion .
Drunk God Makes A Few Dozen Roosters Materialize Over Pacific Ocean
HONOLULUCackling wildly as He willed the barnyard fowl into existence, a drunk God Almighty, Supreme Leader of the Universe, reportedly made a few dozen roosters materialize Thursday over a random point in the Pacific Ocean. Yo, Gabriel, check this shit out! the wasted Creator of All Things said while jostling the archangel on the shoulder [] The post Drunk God Makes A Few Dozen Roosters Materialize Over Pacific Ocean appeared first on The Onion .
Overambitious Man Wants To Get 2 Things Done Today
AKRON, OHSaying the expectations he had set for himself were completely unrealistic, friends of local man James Chao expressed skepticism this morning after the 25-year-old announced plans to get two different things done today. When I heard James say he was going to pick up some groceries, that was one thing, but when he told [] The post Overambitious Man Wants To Get 2 Things Done Today appeared first on The Onion .
I stopped this common charging habit that was quietly killing my iPhone's battery
By charging my iPhone in this one spot, I was damaging my battery and shortening its lifespan. Here's what I do now to avoid it.
The case against an imminent software developer apocalypse
Since the advent of ChatGPT, the software developer population has grown between 18% and 50%, depending on the measure.
Cultural groups urge federal judge to block Kennedy Center renovations
Cultural and historic preservation groups are urging a federal judge to block President Donald Trump from renovating the Kennedy Center
Supreme Court ruling on race-based redistricting prompts quick action in some states
Several states already are taking steps to respond to a U.S. Supreme Court decision striking down a majority Black congressional district in Louisiana
Brazil's Senate rejects president's Supreme Court nominee for first time in more than 100 years
Brazil's Senate rejects president's Supreme Court nominee for first time in more than 100 years
Amazon reports increased 1Q profits and net sales fueled by cloud computing demand
Amazon is reporting increased profits and net sales during its fiscal first quarter, helped by surging growth in its prominent cloud computing unit
Trump says he is weighing reducing American troop presence in Germany after Iran feud
President Donald Trump is leveling a new threat against NATO ally Germany by suggesting he could soon reduce the U.S. military presence there
Head of organization overseeing nuclear test ban treaty issues warning to US and Russia
The head of the organization overseeing a treaty banning nuclear testing is warning that if the United States, Russia or any other nation goes ahead with a test, other nations will follow
The Black Caucus is the 'conscience of Congress.' Supreme Court ruling has it bracing for a big hit
Black members of Congress are bracing for a crippling shakeup of their ranks after a Supreme Court ruling gutted a key section of the Voting Rights Act that had protected minority communities in political redistricting and helped boost their representa...
Hegseth faces a second day of Democrats grilling him over the Iran war
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is set to face a second day of grilling from Democrats on Capitol Hill
Mormon Wives star Taylor Frankie Paul and ex-partner push for protective orders against each other
Attorneys for reality TV star Taylor Frankie Paul and the father of her 2-year-old son are set to present dueling petitions for protective orders against each other
The price of Brent crude oil surges past $125 a barrel as worries brew over an escalation in the Iran war
Winning numbers drawn in Wednesdays Powerball
The winning numbers in Wednesday evenings drawing of the Powerball game were: 03-19-35-51-67, Powerball: 15
A North Texas man faces execution as his cousin claims he was the shooter
A North Texas man who claims he wasnt the shooter in a fatal robbery that killed two people nearly 18 years ago and who says prosecutors misused rap lyrics he wrote to secure his death sentence is facing execution
Exonerees struggle to rebuild their lives and gain lasting employment
People who are wrongfully incarcerated then exonerated, sometimes after spending decades behind bars, face yet more challenges finding jobs and rebuilding their lives after their release
Walmart breaks its no-frills mold with in-store beauty experts and personalized advice
Walmart customers may find something new the next time theyre looking for makeup and skin care products: in-store advisers offering personalized tips and recommendations
New Zealand appeals court rejects bid by Brenton Tarrant to withdraw his guilty pleas for Christchurch mosque shootings
This simple Linux tweak fixes crashes automatically - and it costs me nothing
If your Linux PC becomes unresponsive, you might want to consider a 'Watchdog' that can monitor it and reboot when problems arise.
Windows changes are coming: Here's how to get a sneak peek at what's next
Microsoft is finally making its Windows Insider Program less complicated. Here's everything that's being fixed - and what you have to do to see the changes for yourself.
Flyers Fans Not SureWhether Gritty Supposed To Be Eating Live Bird
PHILADELPHIAExpressing confusion over whether they were witnessing a sanctioned in-game antic or the feral behavior of a mascot gone rogue, Philadelphia Flyers fans reported Tuesday that they werent sure if Gritty was actually supposed to be eating a live bird.He went straight from a silly hula dance to thisis it part of the bit or [] The post Flyers Fans Not SureWhether Gritty Supposed To Be Eating Live Bird appeared first on The Onion .
Romanian man sentenced to prison for swatting spree targeting dozens of US officials
A Romanian man has been sentenced to four years in prison for organizing a wave of swatting calls and bomb threats against dozens of U.S. government targets, including members of Congress, cabinet-level officials, federal judges and the heads of federa...
USS Ford aircraft carrier will be heading home after record-breaking deployment
Traitor Lindsey Graham VERY Vulnerable, Polls Show Mark Lynch on the Rise
Polling data show longtime neoconservative traitor U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham is extremely vulnerable and could lose his upcoming election for the U.S. Senate in South Carolina, explained businessman and GOP challenger Mark Lynch in this interview on Conversations That Matter with The New American magazines Alex Newman. Lynch, who polls massively higher than Graham among ... The post Traitor Lindsey Graham VERY Vulnerable, Polls Show Mark Lynch on the Rise appeared first on The New American .
How a father and daughter duped NYC's art world with fake Warhols and Banksys
A father and daughter in New Jersey have pleaded guilty to running a years-long counterfeiting scheme to trick art galleries and auction houses into buying forged paintings
Meta beats revenue expectations, boosts capital spending forecast for 2026
Meta Platforms Inc. reports strong first-quarter results, surpassing expectations with significant earnings growth, but the stock slipped in after-hours trading
Prosecutors say singer D4vd stabbed 14-year-old Celeste Rivas Hernandez to death to silence her
Prosecutors say singer D4vd killed 14-year-old Celeste Rivas Hernandez by stabbing her multiple times
Man who killed Brown students, MIT professor targeted symbolic victims tied to grievances, FBI says
Federal investigators say the man who carried out a mass shooting at Brown University and later killed a Massachusetts Institute of Technology professor did not act randomly, but targeted places and people that held symbolic meaning tied to his perceiv...
Eero Signal keeps your business online during internet outages
A cellular backup device that connects to your Eero mesh Wi-Fi system, Eero Signal provides backup internet when your primary wired connection goes down, saving you time and money.
Hailstorm kills emu at Missouri zoo, cancels flights and damages vehicles
One of the worst hail storms to hit Missouri killed an emu at the Springfield zoo, injured drivers, knocked out power to thousands, and damaging hundreds of vehicles and even some aircraft
Justice Department moves to roll back gun regulations as Senate confirms new ATF chief
Justice Department officials are moving to roll back and modify a slate of gun regulations in a dramatic shift in firearm policy pushed by Second Amendment supporters in President Donald Trumps base
Transponders to be installed on New York area airport ground vehicles following deadly collision
Transponders that might have helped pinpoint the location of a fire truck that collided with a landing Air Canada jet in New York will soon be installed on ground vehicles at the regions three major airports
Full federal appeals court won't rehear $83 million defamation verdict against Trump
A divided federal appeals court in Manhattan says it will not grant a rare meeting of all of its judges to hear an appeal of an $83 million verdict against President Donald Trump for defaming a magazine columnist
Florida legislature approves new congressional map intended to boost Republicans in midterms
Republicans have scored another victory in the nationwide redistricting battle
Who was invited to dinner with King Charles: Justices, business leaders and Palm Beach friends
President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump hosted a white-tie dinner at the White House with King Charles III and Queen Camilla
House Republicans push ahead on bill to extend divisive US spy powers
House Republicans are pushing ahead with a three-year extension of a key U.S. surveillance program after weeks of infighting
New report details suspect's worsening behavior before 2 USF students' killings
Family members say the behavior of a suspect in the murders of two University of South Florida students worsened over time because of marijuana use
Is Our Equality Obsession Destroying Our Nation?
Focusing on the dogma of equality which tells us nothing about quality is tragically misguided and is destroying our country. ... The post Is Our Equality Obsession Destroying Our Nation? appeared first on The New American .
Depraved Inbred Community Distances Itself From Prince Andrew
The post Depraved Inbred Community Distances Itself From Prince Andrew appeared first on The Onion .
Affidavit Reveals Attempted Assassination Suspects Travel, Ease in Checking Into Hotel
The criminal complaint against Cole Tomas Allen demonstrates the ease with which he checked in to the hotel even with weapons. ... The post Affidavit Reveals Attempted Assassination Suspects Travel, Ease in Checking Into Hotel appeared first on The New American .
Forget Samsung Galaxy S26 Ultra: I found alternatives that are nearly as good for less money
After reviewing the latest Google, Samsung, and Motorola phones, I have a newfound appreciation for last year's models.
Former Florida governor Charlie Crist is running for St. Petersburg mayor
Former Florida governor and U.S. Rep. Charlie Crist is running for mayor of his hometown of St. Petersburg
Federal Reserve keeps key rate unchanged even as four officials dissent, most in almost 34 years
Federal Reserve keeps key rate unchanged even as four officials dissent, most in almost 34 years
King Charles Visits U.S. For State Dinner
King Charles III and his wife Queen Camilla arrived in the U.S. to attend a state dinner at the White House, highlighting the countries special relationship amid strained diplomatic relations. What do you think? The post King Charles Visits U.S. For State Dinner appeared first on The Onion .
Farm Bill Pushes Federal Control Over Pesticide Warnings, Sparks Backlash
At issue is a provision that would shield pesticide makers from certain lawsuits tied to labels approved by the EPA. ... The post Farm Bill Pushes Federal Control Over Pesticide Warnings, Sparks Backlash appeared first on The New American .
Trump halts speech in awkward moment to praise Rory McIlroys Masters win at White House dinner
At a White House state dinner, Donald Trump broke from his prepared speech to publicly praise Rory McIlroys Masters triumph, creating an unscripted moment that briefly disrupted the evenings formal tone. Yet despite Trumps enthusiasm, McIlroy will skip the upcoming Cadillac Championship at Trump National Doral, opting instead for rest before returning ahead of the PGA Championship.
HP vs. Dell: I've tested dozens of laptops from both brands, and here's my advice
Dell and HP both sell excellent laptops, but their models stand out in different ways. Let's break down the biggest differences.
Our readers can't stop buying these 10 gadgets - and No. 4 really surprised us
These gadgets and gizmos are the most popular among ZDNET readers so far this year.
Scientist Accused Of Poisoning Colleague Who Got Promotion
A University of Wisconsin lab employee admitted to poisoning a coworkers water bottle with chloroform after the coworker received a promotion. What do you think? The post Scientist Accused Of Poisoning Colleague Who Got Promotion appeared first on The Onion .
King of England Charles III addressed the U.S. Congress on Tuesday as part of the celebration of Americas 250th birthday. ... The post King Charles Calls on U.S. to Embrace Interfaith Cooperation, Support Ukraine, and Fight Climate Change appeared first on The New American .
Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 7 vs. Motorola Razr Ultra (2026): I compared both, and it's not even close
The Galaxy Z Flip 7 focuses on durability and AI, while the new Razr Ultra is all about hardware. Here's which one I think is better.
The Latest: Supreme Court to hear arguments on ending legal protections for Haitian/Syrian migrants
The Supreme Court is weighing arguments over the Trump administrations push to end legal protections for Haitians and Syrians as migrants fleeing war and natural disaster
London police say stabbing of 2 Jewish men has been declared a terrorist incident
London police say stabbing of 2 Jewish men has been declared a terrorist incident
Kevin Warsh is one step closer to top job at the Fed after Trump's pick approved by Senate committee
The Senate Banking Committee voted on party lines to approve Kevin Warsh as the next chair of the Federal Reserve, to replace Jerome Powell, a longtime target of President Donald Trumps insults for not cutting borrowing costs as far as the president w...
Man charged with trying to kill Trump at dinner took photo with knife in hotel, investigators say
The man charged with trying to storm the White House Correspondents Association dinner and kill President Donald Trump took a picture of himself in his hotel room just minutes earlier, outfitted with an ammunition bag, a shoulder gun holster and a she...
The Latest: Supreme Court weakens a key tool of the Voting Rights Act
The Supreme Court has weakened a key tool of the Voting Rights Act that has helped combat racial discrimination in voting for over 50 years
Elon Musk gets an apology from California regulators as a SpaceX lawsuit is settled
California regulators apologized to SpaceX CEO Elon Musk as they settled a lawsuit that claimed a state agency showed political bias against the rocket company and its chief executive
Billionaire Tom Steyer wants to take on the rich in run for California governor
Billionaire climate activist Tom Steyer is selling himself as a class traitor in his bid for California governor
The best VPN for small businesses in 2026: Expert tested and reviewed
Looking for the best VPN for your small business? I tested Surfshark, Proton VPN, and more to find the top picks.
After years of Linux, I tried GhostBSD and found it incredibly stable - and nearly unbreakable
This FreeBSD-based OS is for Linux users who want a reliable, Unix-like experience. Here's why.
Health is Tim Cook's defining legacy - and your Apple Watch proves it
The Apple CEO introduced the Apple Watch to consumers - and changed more than how we track our health.
These two critical Mac security features are off by default - how to turn them on and why you should
You're leaving your Mac exposed if you haven't enabled these two security features.
I've used Android Auto for years, and these 5 changes solved my biggest issues
These simple adjustments can make a big difference to your Android road experience.
Florida Bans Local DEI &Climate Schemes
Legislation signed into law last week continues Floridas efforts to expand freedom and destroy woke ideology. ... The post Florida Bans Local DEI & Climate Schemes appeared first on The New American .
Supreme Court sides with anti-abortion center raising 1st Amendment fears about state investigation
AARP Releases Strong April Jowls Report
WASHINGTONCalling the past month one of the droopiest on record, officials at AARP issued a strong April jowls report Tuesday.Were pleased to announce that the rate of sagging jawlines since March has exceeded even our flappiest projections, said AARP spokesperson Janet Reyes, adding that U.S. cheeks had increased by about 130,000 folds over the most [] The post AARP Releases Strong April Jowls Report appeared first on The Onion .
Trump Boys Break Another Blender Attempting To Make Oil Out Of Charcoal
WASHINGTONIn an effort to reduce gas prices while President Dad worked to reopen the Street of Hummus [sic], Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly broke another blender Wednesday during an attempt to make oil out of charcoal. Ugh, we made smoke instead of gas, but were getting closeI think we just need one more [] The post Trump Boys Break Another Blender Attempting To Make Oil Out Of Charcoal appeared first on The Onion .
Jazz Guy Has Little Hat And Everything
The post Jazz Guy Has Little Hat And Everything appeared first on The Onion .
Search suspended for missing crew of ship that overturned near during typhoon
Authorities say theyve suspended the search for missing five crew members of a cargo ship that overturned near the Northern Mariana Islands during a typhoon
Correspondents dinner shooter case raises concerns about security on trains
Union representatives and safety consultants say the case of the man charged with attempting to assassinate President Donald Trump at a media dinner is the latest example of someone allegedly trying to use the country's passenger trains to smuggle guns...
