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Larry Ellison is the co-founder and executive chairman of Oracle, as well as the largest shareholder of the Paramount Skydance Corporation. The Onion sat down with the billionaire to discuss his ventures. The Onion: How did you get into the entertainment industry? Ellison: I remember going to the movies as a kid, and when the [] The post The Onions Exclusive Interview With Larry Ellison appeared first on The Onion .

LOS ANGELESResponding to scrutiny concerning her tech billionaire father, artist Stella Lefty admitted in an interview Friday that nepotism may have played a role in helping her get Groupon+. I had to set up the account myself, but yeah, I definitely have to recognize that not all aspiring artists have the privilege of scoring great [] The post Stella Lefty Admits Nepotism May Have Helped Her Get Groupon+ appeared first on The Onion .

WASHINGTONRevising the former timetable to reflect its latest public guidelines, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services replaced the childhood vaccination schedule Friday with a list of recommended animal bites. Its highly important that kids receive at least 15 bites from a variety of mammals, reptiles, and insects before they reach the age of [] The post HHS Replaces Childhood Vaccination Schedule With List Of Recommended Animal Bites appeared first on The Onion .

INDIANAPOLISContending that the proposed restrictions were common sense and necessary to preserve the integrity of the sport, Indiana Fever shooting guard Sophie Cunningham claimed Friday that any woman who averages more than eight points per game should not be allowed to play in the WNBA. Women who average more than 8.4 points, 2.3 rebounds, or [] The post Sophie Cunningham Claims Any Woman Who Averages More Than 8 Points Per Game Should Not Be Allowed To Play In WNBA appeared first on The Onio

With the competition for song of the summer in full swing, The Onion shares the 20 most popular tracks of July. The post Top Songs August 2025 appeared first on The Onion .

Stricter work requirements enacted in the Big Beautiful Bill have caused enrollment in the SNAP food assistance program to plummet over 13% over the past year as provisions kick in. What do you think? The post SNAP Enrollment Drops By Over 13% appeared first on The Onion .

WASHINGTONPrompting widespread concern among fans and followers, President Donald Trump uploaded a disturbing video of himself Friday rapidly twirling while holding knives. According to sources, the clip showed the commander-in-chief spinning around in the East Room in the Executive Residence, waving the blades close to his face as he danced and posed with them. The [] The post Trump Posts Disturbing Video Of Himself Twirling With Knives appeared first on The Onion .

MIAMISaying the manosphere influencer vastly exaggerated aspects of his life in order to fabricate a social media persona,lawyers for Andrew Tate disclosed Thursday that he rented a brother to appear loved online. Despite all the videos of Andrew supposedly sparring with his brother at the gym or smoking cigars with him in a supercar, the [] The post Lawyers Say Andrew Tate Rented Brother To Appear Loved Online appeared first on The Onion .

EDINBURGH, SCOTLANDShelving the game indefinitely after major spoilers about the plot leaked online, fed-up developers at Rockstar Games announced Thursday that the company was canceling Grand Theft Auto VI because you fucking people dont deserve it. We had this whole exciting game all planned out for you, and you assholes had to go and fuck [] The post Fed-Up Rockstar Cancels GTA VI appeared first on The Onion .

SEATTLEExhibiting an air of practiced nonchalance as he mentioned his high-profile acquaintance, the Hinge date of area woman Melissa Jacobs was overheard Thursday dropping the name of the man who created Beetle Bailey. You know, what you just said reminds me of something my old buddy Mortthats Inkpot Award winner Mort Walker, maybe youve heard [] The post Date Name-Drops Creator Of Beetle Bailey appeared first on The Onion .

WASHINGTONHis voice shaking even more than usual as he grew excited over his impending torment, a trembling Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was overheard Thursday telling a dominatrix to use processed foods on his balls. Mistress Jessica, Ive been a bad little health and human services secretary, and II deserve to have my pathetic nuts punished [] The post Trembling RFK Jr. Tells Dominatrix To Use Processed Foods On His Balls appeared first on The Onion .

The U.S. national debt surpassed $40 trillion for the first time ever, with Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent claiming the country can grow its way out of it. What do you think? The post U.S. National Debt Surpasses $40 Trillion appeared first on The Onion .

White House aide Natalie Harp is drawing scrutiny from many political observers. The Onion shares everything you need to know about Harp and her background. Education: Liberty University School of Blond Woman Business Job Title: Senior Girl to the President Qualifications: Made a nice diorama of the Oval Office Your Estranged Aunts Opinion Of Her: [] The post Political Profile: Natalie Harp appeared first on The Onion .

THE HEAVENSHer heart breaking when she discovered the Almighty fumbling over the most basic words on the page in front of Him, country music icon and noted humanitarian Dolly Parton was reportedly troubled to discover Wednesday that God was illiterate. I just about washed off my makeup from crying when I saw the Lord struggle [] The post Dolly Parton Troubled To Find God Illiterate appeared first on The Onion .

The post Trump Pushes To Rename Sexual Attraction To Children Americaphilia appeared first on The Onion .

Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle are set to return to the U.K. six years after stepping back from royal duties and moving to the U.S. What do you think? The post Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Moving Back To U.K. appeared first on The Onion .

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COLUMBUS, OHTelling the 54-year-old there was no reason to panic over the fist-sized bulge that had recently begun shifting beneath the skin of his abdomen, local physician Alan Keller reportedly reassured patient Eric Madsen on Wednesday that the lump was probably just his body making an extra guy. At your age, its perfectly normal to [] The post Doctor Reassures Patient That Lump Probably Just Body Making Extra Guy appeared first on The Onion .

DOYLESTOWN, PAExpressing frustration over their friends increasingly disinterested behavior in recent years, participants in a local fantasy football league confirmed Tuesday that they were rapidly losing patience with the one player in their group who has other things going on in his life. I swear to God, Brian [Fischer] needs to get his act together [] The post Rest Of Fantasy League Losing Patience With Player Who Has Other Things Going On In His Life appeared first on The Onion .