theonion

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALANDHolding hands in a circle as candles flickered and water glasses trembled, employees of film discovery platform Letterboxd reportedly held a sance Friday to ask James Dean his four favorite movies. Spirit of Mr. Dean, weve got the cameras rolling for our socials here, and we summon you to share your top film [] The post Letterboxd Holds Seance To Ask James Dean His 4 Favorite Movies appeared first on The Onion .

Social media has ignited a recent surge in health-conscious Americans trying to up their fiber consumption. The Onion provides tips for maximizing the amount of fiber in your diet: Scrutinize food labels for phrases like gut buster and organ hell. Toast white bread to convert it to brown, fiber-packed wheat bread. Shift your diet from [] The post Tips For Increasing Your Fiber Intake appeared first on The Onion .

LOS ANGELESSmiling to himself as he reflected on all the years his mother and father had discouraged him from chasing his dream,local man Aaron Traylor told reporters Friday that his parents had been forced to eat crow ever since he made it as a Beetlejuice impersonator. They told me I needed to be studying instead [] The post Unsupportive Parents Eat Crow After Son Makes It As Beetlejuice Impersonator appeared first on The Onion .

The post Digger Prosthetic Artist Recalls Grueling Process Of Having Tom Cruise Sit Still appeared first on The Onion .

Six Flags Magic Mountain permanently closed its famous X2 roller coaster due to a history of riders incurring brain injuries, with some resulting in death. What do you think? The post Six Flags Closes X2 Roller Coaster Due To Brain Injuries appeared first on The Onion .

The post NBA Players Share The One Thing Theyd Change About The League If They Were Commissioner For A Day appeared first on The Onion .

The post Sydney Sweeney, 200 Feet Away And Under A Space Blanket: Lets See You Pervs Jerk Off To This appeared first on The Onion .

Madonna took home seven awards at the VMAs on Sunday, making her the nights biggest winner. The Onion shares everything you need to know about Madonnas return to the spotlight. Age: Physically pains your mom to hear Biggest Hit: Goes on for a minute too long Philanthropic Cause: Tiny leather corsets for dogs Spouses: Sean [] The post Artist Profile: Madonna appeared first on The Onion .