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Elections 2026Jammu & kashmir / theonion
RICHMOND, VAFeeling the half-chewed contents of their stomachs roil as they retched into their napkins, guests at a local dinner party began gagging Tuesday as their host revealed that they had been eating USDA beef. I do hope youve been enjoying those steaks and that theyve been prepared to your satisfactionbut now comes the delightful [] The post Horrified Guests Begin Gagging As Dinner Host Reveals Theyve Been Eating USDA Beef appeared first on The Onion .
A blind man in the U.K. who drove his wifes car 150 miles while drunk avoided prison time, despite not even having a license. What do you think? The post Blind Man Who Drove 150 Miles Drunk Avoids Jail appeared first on The Onion .
LOS ANGELESRegaining consciousness just as a masked captor slapped him across the face with the script, actor Jason Momoa reportedly woke up Tuesday tied to a chair in an empty warehouse facing the screenplay for a Candy Crush Saga movie. You are Mr. Toffee now, said a low, menacing voice that came from behind a [] The post Jason Momoa Wakes Up Tied To Chair In Empty Warehouse With Candy Crush Saga Movie Script appeared first on The Onion .
The family of Katherine Lee, 35, asks that in lieu of flowers, mourners send any guesses about what her passwords might be. The post Katherine Lee appeared first on The Onion .
CONCORD, MAAs he expressed alarm at still not having reached the titles open world, local gamer Rudy Kelleher confirmed Tuesday that the prologue of his recently purchased video game was still going.Christ, its been an hour and a half since I booted this thing up, and Im still wandering around some cave while a kings [] The post Video Game Prologue Still Going appeared first on The Onion .
NEW YORKIn an urgent step intended to protect customers and humanity itself from the companys flagship product, Casper Sleep announced Tuesday an immediate recall of mattresses that wont stop expanding once unboxed.In response to thousands of reports of our mattresses inflating catastrophically past their intended dimensions, we have removed the items from our online store [] The post Casper Recalls Mattresses That Wont Stop Expanding When Unboxed appeared first on The Onion .