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Elections 2026Jammu & kashmir / theonion
In what would be the nations first public execution in 90 years, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced the Pentagon would livestream Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasans death by firing squad. What do you think? The post Pentagon To Livestream Firing Squad Execution appeared first on The Onion .
GREENSBORO, NCGrowing increasingly whimsical as she unearthed the memory from decades ago, local grandma Agatha Fuller fondly recalled Friday how she had once worked with a homosexual. His name was Alexander, never Alex, and his hair and his suit were always immaculate, said Fuller, reminiscing about the law clerk she and other secretaries at the [] The post Grandma Fondly Recalls Once Working With Homosexual appeared first on The Onion .
The post Recipe For Disaster appeared first on The Onion .
SEATTLEIn an effort to lure back self-conscious adult customers, Starbucks officials announced this week that locations across the country would introduce new teen-free hours for nervous adults who just wanted to redeem their birthday rewards. Stop by any Starbucks between 8 and 9 a.m. to enjoy your free cake pop without having to worry youll [] The post Starbucks Announces New Teen-Free Hours For Nervous Adults Who Just Want To Redeem Birthday Reward appeared first on The Onion .
WASHINGTONFaced with a weekend of dismal ticket sales that ranked among the worst in the megastars career,a smiling, unblinking Tom Cruise calmly stated Monday that he just wanted to know why the nation didnt turn out to see his new movie Digger. Relax, Im not gonna fly off the handle or anything like that, but [] The post Smiling, Unblinking Tom Cruise Just Wants To Know Why Nation Didnt See Digger appeared first on The Onion .