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WASHINGTONVowing to use the full force of the bureau to crack down on anyone who thwarted the values and aims of the United States through such an act, FBI Director Kash Patel formally classified not finishing a hamburger as seditious activity Thursday.Let me say this loud and clear: Failing to eat your entire hamburger, regardless [] The post FBI Classifies Not Finishing Hamburger As Seditious Activity appeared first on The Onion .
DNA analysis of a lock of Thomas Jeffersons hair has provided the strongest genetic evidence yet that he did in fact father at least one child with the enslaved woman Sally Hemings, as has long been speculated. What do you think? The post DNA Provides More Evidence Thomas Jefferson Fathered Children With Sally Hemings appeared first on The Onion .
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This week the Supreme Court began a new term, and there are several consequential cases on the docket. The Onion previews some of the most important cases being heard by the justices in the coming months. Apple v. Epic Games: The suit over Apples App Store fees will be the first Supreme Court hearing hosted [] The post Biggest Supreme Court Cases This Term appeared first on The Onion .