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The post Kendrick Perkins Puts On Sleep Apnea Mask Mid-Segment appeared first on The Onion .

Your Own Goddamn House: Its your house. You paid for it. She cant just make you leave, divorce papers or not. Reference #27802 The post Your Own Goddamn House appeared first on The Onion .

Monica Hilburn and Mike Gomez: The brides psychic predicted shed find love, and sure enough, she will eventually. The post Monica Hilburn and Mike Gomez appeared first on The Onion .

WASHINGTONIn what is being described as a major breach of White House security protocol, the National Security Agency reportedly uncovered evidence Friday that first lady Melania Trump was a Russian listening device.A sweep by intelligence officials has revealed that Mrs. Trump is in fact an espionage tool deployed by Russia to record President Trump while [] The post Melania Trump Discovered To Be Russian Listening Device appeared first on The Onion .

WASHINGTONWith the remaining days of August dwindling and autumn rapidly approaching, the nation ashamedly confirmed Wednesday that it had once again failed to make the most of summer. Were running out of time, and I havent been to a single free concert or even entertained the idea of camping or hitting the pool, said Brendan [] The post Nation Once Again Fails To Make Most Of Summer appeared first on The Onion .