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The post Anthony Davis Going To Halloween Party Right After Game appeared first on The Onion .

BURBANK, CACalling the decision bittersweet, Scooby-Doo announced his retirement Friday after accepting a voluntary buyout from media conglomerate Skydance. While Ive loved all the years Ive spent unmasking villains with my friends, the writing was unfortunately on the wall, said the cartoon Great Dane, who told reporters he was looking forward to spending more time [] The post Scooby-Doo Retires After Taking Skydance Buyout appeared first on The Onion .

NEW YORKDonning antlers and hooded robes as a fawns entrails were spilled onto the raised platform of the bell podium, New York Stock Exchange officials continued their annual tradition Friday of opening spirit realm stock trading for one night of the year. Only in the twilight of the hunters moon, when the veil between our [] The post NYSE Opens Spirit Realm Stock Trading For One Night A Year appeared first on The Onion .

ELKO, NVAdmiring the dedication to character but growing increasingly exasperated as the night wore on, friends of local man Paul Dorsey told reporters Friday that he had apparently committed to doing a Dracula voice for the entirety of his Halloween party. When we got here, he said, I beed you velcome in this over-the-top Slavic [] The post Host Apparently Committing To Dracula Voice For Whole Party appeared first on The Onion .

Despite the ubiquity of autonomous agents and chatbots, many Americans are still confused about how to make AI part of their daily routines. The Onion provides tips for using AI to your advantage. Use Claude to scan long, boring emails for important info like court dates and official charges. Drop your standards for a romantic [] The post How To Incorporate AI Into Your Daily Life appeared first on The Onion .

The post Ghosts and Gobblin appeared first on The Onion .