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Report: Tennis-Racket-Shaped Bag Gotta Be Full Of Tennis Rackets
ESTES PARK, CONoting the bags elongated oval shape, prominent Wilson logo, and the fact that its owner was walking directly toward a tennis court, a new report released Tuesday concluded that the tennis-racket-shaped bag in local man Marcus Walmans hand just had to be full of tennis rackets. Using a multivariate Bayesian object-classification framework incorporating [] The post Report: Tennis-Racket-Shaped Bag Gotta Be Full Of Tennis Rackets appeared first on The Onion .
18 Aug 2026 7:42 pm

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