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Cameron Winter, the Geese frontman who made his solo debut with the LP Heavy Metal, has been hailed by fans as a Gen Z Leonard Cohen. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist. Vocal Style: A lot Biggest Musical Influence: Spotify Smart Shuffle Childhood Nickname: Future Geese frontman Cameron Winter Source [] The post Artist Profile: Cameron Winter appeared first on The Onion .

LOS ANGELESAddressing the shows hotly anticipated finale at a press event this week, Stranger Things co-creators Matt and Ross Duffer admitted to reporters that they havent watched the series in years. We got through most of the first season, mostly because of all the buzz it was getting, but after that we really fell off, [] The post Duffer Brothers Admit They Havent Watched Stranger Things In Years appeared first on The Onion .

WASHINGTONAccording to a nationwidecrimestudy by the FBIs National Incident-Based Reporting System, just over 93% of all murder cases solved by local, state, and federal police in the past 10 years were resolved by consulting the victims beloved pet parrot. In some cases, the break is simple and the bird will squawk the killers name and [] The post Study Finds 93% Of Murders Solved By Consulting Victims Pet Parrot appeared first on The Onion .

Each January, millions of Americans vow to improve something about themselves, but many struggle with the commitments they make. Here are tips for sticking to your New Years resolutions. Hire a hitman to shoot you in between the eyes if you even so much as look at a cigarette. Tell your coworkers about your plan [] The post How To Stick To Your New Years Resolutions appeared first on The Onion .

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WASHINGTONClaiming that his longstanding interest in the arts made him a perfect fit for the role, President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that he had appointed himself to the divine muses. Many are saying these nine inspirational goddesses have become beholden to DEI and woke ideology, so Im ascending Mount Helicon as a muse to make [] The post Trump Appoints Self To Divine Muses appeared first on The Onion .

The post George Clooney, 1,000 Paparazzi Granted French Citizenship appeared first on The Onion .

WASHINGTONWondering aloud about whose idea it was to make so much gebakje in the first place, bloated Americans across the nation confirmed Tuesday that they were still struggling to work their way through all of the leftover rijstevlaai from the holidays. Dont get me wrong, I usually cant get enough rijstevlaai in December, but we [] The post Bloated Nation Struggling To Work Way Through Leftover Rijstevlaai appeared first on The Onion .

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