The Times of India

What would you do? My 10-year-old wants a smartphone because 'everyone else has one': 5 mothers share what happened next

It usually begins with a sentence that sounds impossible to argue with. Everyone in my class has a phone. Sometimes it comes during the school pickup. Sometimes at bedtime. Sometimes right after a birthday party where another child proudly showed off a new smartphone.And suddenly, the debate enters your home. Your 10-year-old says they need a phone to stay connected with friends. They say they're the only ones without one. They tell you they feel left out.You aren't sure what worries you more: giving them a smartphone or making them feel excluded. Because parenting today comes with a problem previous generations never had to solve. There is no universal rule. Some children have smartphones in Class 4. Others wait until high school. And almost every parent wonders if they're getting it wrong.We imagined a situation many families quietly struggle with and asked: What would you do if your 10-year-old wanted a smartphone because everyone else has one?Five mothers share the decisions they made and what happened afterward.I asked my son to show me who 'everyone' was (Ankita, 36) For nearly three months, Ankita's son repeated the same sentence. Everyone has a phone except me. One evening, she asked him to list the children in his class who actually owned smartphones. We sat down and counted, she says. Out of 28 students, only seven had personal devices. She says, He had confused the loudest children with everybody.Instead of buying a phone immediately, Ankita allowed him to use the family tablet on weekends. The pressure reduced once we discussed it calmly. Her takeaway? Children often say 'everyone' when they really mean a few people.\I gave her a deadline (Rhea, 35) Rhea's daughter wanted a smartphone before entering middle school. She felt left out because her friends had WhatsApp groups. Rather than saying no forever, Rhea made a deal. I told her she would get a phone when she turned 13. The family wrote the date on a calendar. Surprisingly, having a clear answer stopped the daily arguments. In the meantime, her daughter could use her mother's phone to call friends. Children often struggle more with uncertainty than with rules, says Rhea.I bought the phone and regretted it (Mona, 34)Meona gave her son a smartphone when he was 10. Honestly, I felt pressured by other parents. Within months, she noticed changes. He was watching videos late at night and constantly asking for more screen time. Family dinners became difficult. Homework took a longer time. Mona says, We realised he wasn't ready for the responsibility.The parents eventually introduced stricter rules, including keeping the phone outside the bedroom. Megha says she doesn't regret giving him technology. But I wish we had discussed boundaries before buying the phone instead of afterward, she said.My daughter taught me something (Sneha, 37)Sneha expected long arguments when she refused to buy a phone. Instead, her daughter asked: Mumma, what age were you when you got your first phone? The conversation became less about the device and more about growing up. We talked about internet safety, social media and why adults also struggle with screen time, recalls Sneha.They eventually agreed on a shared family phone that could be used after homework. She says, The discussions became more important than the actual phone.Seha says many parents focus only on the purchase but children are often looking for explanations.The real issue wasn't the phone (Shalini, 35)Shalini's son insisted he needed a smartphone because all his friends had one. But after several conversations, she discovered something else. His classmates had a gaming group that he couldn't join, she said. The phone wasn't the real problem. Feeling left out was. She arranged weekend playdates and allowed supervised gaming sessions on the family computer. The demand for a phone slowly disappeared, recalls Shalini. Looking back, she says: Sometimes children ask for a device when they're actually asking to belong.So, what would you do?Would you buy the phone? Wait a few more years? Set conditions? Or try to understand what your child is really asking for?Because when a 10-year-old says, Everyone else has one, the conversation is rarely just about technology. It's about friendships. It's about fitting in. It's about growing up in a world where childhood increasingly happens on screens. And perhaps the hardest part for parents is knowing that there is no perfect answer. Only the one that feels right for your family.So if your child put a similar demand in front of you, what would YOU do? Write your reaction in the comment section below.