The Times of India

Top parenting coach shares how to teach sons to choose the right friends at every age

Having good friends is a blessing. They are the ones who support, respect and bring the best out of you. For parents, especially those raising sons, one of the biggest concerns is the kind of friendship their child forms.Top parenting coach Wendy Ologe says, the goal of parenting is not to raise a child who simply finds good friends, but to raise one who can recognize healthy friendships. Since the meaning of friendship changes from childhood to adulthood, so does the guidance children need. Heres what parents need to teach sons so they choose the right friends at every age. Age 3 to 6Friendship should be full of kindness and safety. At this age, friendship is simple. According to the parenting expert, at this age, parents should teach children three things: A friend is someone who is kind, not someone who is loud, popular, or dominant.Friends do not hit, bully, hurt, or take things without asking.It is okay to move away from someone who makes you feel unsafe, scared, or sad.Age 7 to 10 This is where influence begins. As children grow older, friends start playing a bigger role in shaping their behaviour. They begin comparing themselves with others, following group habits, and seeking acceptance. At this age, teach your child these four things: Not everyone who plays with you is someone who helps you grow.Good friends encourage you to make better choices, not push you toward disrespectful behaviour.If you constantly get into trouble because of someone, that friendship needs to be questioned.Friends should respect teachers, rules, and boundaries.Age 11 to 13This is where friendship starts forming identity.The pre-teen years can be challenging because the need to belong becomes stronger. Children may start changing their behaviour to fit in or gain approval.At this stage, parents can help sons understand:You do not have to change who you are to be accepted.Being popular is not the same as having good character.Friends can influence your confidence, values, and decisions.Pay attention to: Do I like the person I become around this friend?Age 14 to 17Friendships can shape the direction of life.Teenage years bring greater independence. Friend groups can influence habits, communication style, priorities, and even future decisions.Parents can guide teenagers to understand:Friends influence your habits, language, discipline, and mindset.The people around you often shape the direction you move in.Setting boundaries is important, even with long-term friends.It is okay to outgrow friendships respectfully.Age 18 and above In adulthood, friendships become alignment.As young adults step into the world, they begin choosing relationships based on their own values and goals.Parents can encourage them to:Choose friends who align with their purpose, not just their comfort.Remember that the people you spend the most time with can influence your mindset and lifestyle.Build friendships that bring growth, respect, and honesty.Never compromise integrity for acceptance.Teaching Sons About Friendship Is Teaching Them About LifeThe friends children choose can influence their confidence, behaviour, values, and future. But the ultimate goal is not to pick their friends for them, it is to raise children who can recognise healthy relationships on their own.When boys learn kindness in childhood, awareness in adolescence, and wisdom in adulthood, they carry a lifelong ability to choose friendships that support who they want to become.