Marriage & KISS mantra
They say a wedding is the most important day of your life. But we believe the life you build together is an important journey, a newly-wed couple wrote on social media recently, explaining why they skipped the banquet halls, the stage lights, the glittering gold, and chose a court marriage and a trip across continents. It was a small post, just a few paragraphs about how they traded an eight-hour performance for something that felt more like themselves. In the comments that followed, young people from across the country chimed in with their own takes on exhaustion, anxiety, social pressure, emotional blackmail, and a shared desire to break free from orchestrated wedding events. Amid the responses was a detailed account from a young man who laid out every reason traditional ceremonies unsettle him: the sea of unfamiliar faces, the rehearsed small talk repeated for days, rituals that feel intrusive, the parade of photo poses, and the cost of feeding and entertaining a thousand people. I want to get registered, have dinner with the people I actually love, and then spend the night dancing with my wife in a dimly lit room, he writes. Another commenter shares that his wedding a week-long celebration that he never wanted drained a years worth of savings and left him wondering who the whole event was really for. Put together, these voices form a chorus that is getting louder these years. A generation asking: What if the point of a wedding is not to impress, but to just breathe together? What if doing it right means doing it small? And in Kerala, this tribe is growing. Youngsters some in simple sari and mundu, some even in jeans and work shirts walking in with a handful of friends and family members, signing a set of papers, exchanging shy smiles, and stepping back into the sun as husband and wife. No theatrics. No loud music. No jostle for the feast. No drama. Often not even colour-coded outfits. Just a phone props up on someones palm recording the moment. And a small, unpolished video that may later find its way to social media, where it will sit among a growing wave of simple weddings capturing the internets soft spot. Rosline and Anand However, in many homes, parents are still trying to fathom why their children are walking away from the elaborate ceremonies. Family and societal pressure is real, says Noel George, a lawyer who recently married his partner, Amala, through registration. The couple wanted a small, intimate ceremony, but eventually held a function because of pressure from society. There is always a misconception around register/court marriages. People think something is wrong or something is being hidden. Even my colleagues asked why we were choosing to keep it small if everything was happy and straightforward, he smiles. Once we agreed to a simple function, the invitees list ballooned. At one point, I felt frustrated. But I understand where the pressure comes from. Socio-cultural conditioning is a factor, cant blame our folks. Sharing his views on the minimalist trend, Noel outlines three reasons he has observed behind the rise in register marriages. The first is cost. Many couples want to use that money more sensibly savings, travel, contribute to something good, or simply avoid debt for their families, he says. The second is that younger people are more detached from societal expectations. They dont see marriage as a grand event anymore. And the third is the ambiguity around relationships today. There isnt the same certainty as before, and that makes people reconsider making a big spectacle of weddings. Noel adds that neither simple weddings nor grand ones need to be glorified or criticised. A small wedding works for some. On the other hand, there are many who would want to make their special day a grand, memorable one. Both have their own place and charm, he says. Noel and Amala Artists Ajay Jishnu Sudheyan and Chemm Parvathy, who also opted for a modest wedding, say such micro-events can also be fun-filled and memorable. We were the first in our families to marry this way. My partners parents were fine with it; my parents had some concerns, but we convinced them slowly, says Ajay. On the wedding day, it felt like a real celebration with the people who mattered most. Everyone sang and danced at the registrars office. It made the space feel warm. Even our parents were eventually in a jolly-good mood. While some choose a registered marriage to cut the cost and pomp, others see it as a way to keep the moment secular and intimate. Rosline C U and Anand P chose this path. We didnt want any religious ceremony attached to our wedding day, says Rosline. Our wedding took place in a small hall with just a few people. We brought the registrar there. No decorations, nothing extravagant we simply served food to the small gathering. Clifath Ismail and Karuna Unnikrishnan, an inter-religious couple who recently had an arranged wedding under the Special Marriage Act, say convenience was their biggest deciding factor. The process was simple, says Clifath. We applied online, submitted a few attested documents, waited for the 30-day notice period, and brought two witnesses. About 20 people close to us attended. It was simple but wholesome. Karuna adds that they had a smooth experience. We have heard of official hiccups and people facing trouble getting documents attested because its a court marriage under the Special Marriage Act. We, however, didnt face any issues, she says. Noel, too, notes that the official procedures have become simpler. Earlier, we often heard that some officers created difficulties. Now the attitude is different. Most officials are supportive, and they guide couples through the process like family, he says. P K Sajan Kumar, joint inspector-general of registration, has watched this shift unfold up close. When I joined the service in 1998, our society was far more rigid, he says. People did face a lot of resistance when they came for these kinds of registrations. But that has changed. Moreover, todays youth are more confident about choosing what they want, and online procedures have made everything much easier. Sajan notes that while Special Marriage Act registrations usually hovered around 10,000 a year, the numbers have shot up over 13,000 in recent times. The figure is likely to go up this year, he adds. Meanwhile, the big-fat celebrations with the sangeet, haldi, parties, feasts, and photo-shoots are all still very much in trend. And there is absolutely nothing wrong in grand celebrations as long as the couple enjoys them. But alongside, there clearly is a minimalist shift that is being celebrated silently. A reimagining of weddings, where the aesthetics is not about big, booming activity but about choosing what feels simply beautiful. Special Marriage Act registrations in Kerala 202223: 12,467 202324: 13,392 202425: 13,892 202526: 9,858 (up to November 2025; fiscal ends in March 2026)
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