Managing a museum
Over the past few weeks, my favourite line from my favourite archaeologist, Indiana Jones It belongs in a museum has been stuck in my head. I have been clocking in my hours at a game called Two Point Museum, taking his words like a directive from management and grinding like my livelihood depended on it. I have to admit it kind of feels like my self-worth is often tied to doing well in a management simulator video game. They are good at making it feel like a real world job. There is a schedule, a clear set of tasks, and a path towards progression. They equip you with resources and the confidence that makes you believe you could aspire towards similar success in everyday life. And every time you get a little too comfortable with all of it, they throw in the occasional curve ball and force you to expand your horizons. Sure, maybe, this is just my guilt-ridden rationale for having spent so much time on the game. But I am certain that once you understand a little more about this game, you might not think Im crazy for having this opinion. This wasnt my first time managing a Two Point business, having led several schools as a dean at Two Point Campus, another game in the series. But I think being a museum manager might actually be my true calling in life. I called mine Colonial Haul, as a tribute to one of my favourite museums in the world (the British Museum). I am very proud of it. I now have five thriving museums. But as you can imagine, things werent exactly great when the game started. Museum curation, especially if you dont have the initial investment of colonial era loot, can be quite challenging. The formula for success in Two Point Museum requires a couple of things to be in order. You need a steady supply of donations and tickets to keep your museum afloat, which means a lot of customers visiting them. For this, you must have great exhibits, which in turn require talented employees to procure and maintain them. Talented employees must be happy. So lets start there, shall we? Heres a (slightly exaggerated) sorry tale of Jemima Fossil and how she nearly bankrupted my burgeoning museum of Natural History. Jemima was a happy young prehistoric expert when I first hired her. I still remember her resume listing on the staff portal Sunny: +5% happiness, Dim-witted -20% training speed. Itll have to do, I told myself. Shes cheap, and I need someone, anyone, to go on an expedition to Greasy Fields. I sent two of my helicopters on two different expeditions on the same day, scheduled to deliver peak-quality antiques by the time of the next annual inspection. I thought I was being efficient. When Jemima boarded her helicopter, I really wish Id known then that Id simply read the warnings on the expedition board. Forty-five days later, the report came in: Jemima was missing in action. And Claude, the assistant Id sent with her, was hospitalised with a snake bite. The second expedition, while not a colossal failure, had my supernatural expert ironically possessed by some ghost. The expedition cost me far more than I could recover. Without Claude my gift counter sat unattended. With Jemima gone, my exhibits gathered dust. And a poltergeist roamed the halls scaring away all my visitors. It was all a big mess. The game makes its expectations abundantly clear, and all of this could have easily been avoided. Its surprisingly disciplined. You have access to all of the information through multiple dashboards, and have no business not being constantly aware of everything happening. Are exhibits generating buzz? Are staff trained, and emotionally ready for what you ask of them? Its also not just the artefacts that need curation. Not a single decoration item, information board, or donation box should be out of place. Everything is curated. Every botanical exhibit, misted. Every fish in the aquarium, fed. Every fossil, dusted. As much as the option exists, even expeditions arent meant to be auto-filled with the next available employee. They need preparation, the right gear, and careful planning (think opportunity costs and long term profits). If you follow the systems, read the warnings, respect the protocol, the museum rewards you for it. As much as I love Two Point Museum, I appreciate that this game isnt for everyone. If you find that too many menus, and open threads of tasks make you anxious, then youd probably be better off playing a more beginner friendly management simulator like Sims or Zoo tycoon. Currently, the game is available across consoles the PC, Xbox, PlayStation, and the Nintendo Switch. If your choice is to play on the PC, its best played with a controller.
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